invidia's picture

Things You Should Never Say.....

I saw this article on yahoo news on Friday.

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Child – “you’re the best at soccer” “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister” that kind of thing.

There was a link to an article 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Mom and 12 Things a Stepmother Should Never Say.

When I looked for Things You Should Never Say to a Step-Mom I found a number of entries all related to things that a step-parent should not say or do but very few articles that would suggest to a reader that there are certain things that one should not say to a step-parent.

I am sure there are or have been many variations of this on Step Talk before but here is my contribution to a list of things that you should never say to a Step-Parent. These are things that I have heard from DH, DH family and/or friends.

1. You are supposed to love your DH’s kids as your own.

2. SS8 is the only one that matters/SS8 is everything to me

3. When my kids are here they need/deserve all my attention.

4 It doesn’t matter if you and DH don’t have kids you already have his/We already have two kids isn’t that enough?

5. I can’t pay my half of our bills because I need to pay for x, y or z, you will need to cover our rent/groceries/utilities again…oh wait and again…and again…

6. You knew DH had kids when you married him, you knew what you were getting into.

7. You don’t know anything about being a parent.

8. I will not do anything that will take me away from spending time my kids (in reference to asking for help with grocery shopping/cooking/cleaning/laundry etc). Why can’t you do it? You always want to do that stuff when my kids are here?

9. Why don’t you want to take the skids with you on your honeymoon?

Okay just had to get that out of my system! Thank you for listening fellow Step Talkers Smiling


Helena.Handbasket's picture

10. You don't understand, you

10. You don't understand, you don't have kids of your own.

There's no need to interact with me, I'm just here to observe. -Sheldon Cooper
Formerly *Alwaysanxious*

StarStuff's picture

Oh hell no! I'd be damned if

Oh hell no! I'd be damned if we had to take a kid on our honeymoon!

Those who dream by day are cognizant of more than those who dream only by night. ~Edgar Allan Poe

CrazieCoconut86's picture

I didn't get a honeymoon, but

I didn't get a honeymoon, but when I do get one, you better believe it will be kid free. That includes any kids I may have at that time and SS.

Hell No! I can't believe people think it would be OK to take a kid on a honeymoon.

StarStuff's picture

It negates the whole point,

It negates the whole point, doesn't it? Honeymoons are about the COUPLE, not the kids.

Those who dream by day are cognizant of more than those who dream only by night. ~Edgar Allan Poe

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Ooooh I hate that one. Just

Ooooh Barf! I hate that one. Just shows how big of a p*ssy these men get. Sorry, my anger is coming out today.

There's no need to interact with me, I'm just here to observe. -Sheldon Cooper
Formerly *Alwaysanxious*

Ghost Rider's picture

I had to put up with this

I had to put up with this excuse for a year. What is even sad is this woman not only had him scared of this but his whole side of the family! You have got to be kidding me.

3familiesIn1's picture

#7.You don’t know anything

#7.You don’t know anything about being a parent.

I get this in a different twist, because I have 2 bios. Can you believe DH told me, well you don't know because you never had a boy!!!!

So raising 2 girls means I don't know how to raise a boy who is 18 months old and a terror - O.M.F.G. I said, you are right, I never wanted a boy.

Regulation #5
You are entitled to food, shelter and medical attention. Anything else is a privilege.

Tired...

Ghost Rider's picture

****UGH***** I hate this one

****UGH***** I hate this one too. I usually end up answering back

"Excuse me! I did not know we also sh*t out a manual when you have a kid"

Last I remember it is your up bringing and what you add or take away from it when it comes to raising and understanding.

So in my book sh*ting out a kid does not qualify anybody as the most experience either.

Yep #7 gets my goat!

BSgoinon's picture

^^^^URG^^^^ That was (I say

^^^^URG^^^^

That was (I say WAS because DH doesn't DARE say this anymore) one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. PUH-LEASE, the divorce was HER FAULT! If she didn't want to be "heartbroken" then she shouldn't have cheated, lied, and gotten fat and lazy.

"They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that is why they hated me."- Sheldon Lee Cooper

whatwasithinkin's picture

11) when I call your kid out,

11) when I call your kid out, do not dare try to call mine out as a response...I handle my kids, do the same with yours.

FallingfromGrace's picture

I get this "you dont

I get this "you dont understand because your kids HAVE to live with us, their dad is not involved - MY kids could go live with BM if I upset them"....

Talk about being held hostage by your own kids...LOL!

God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

PrincessFiona's picture

Don't forget.......... --they

Don't forget..........

--they are ONLY kids, they don't know what they are doing/saying

and

--I can't help how they act, it's they way BM is raising them

DaizyDuke's picture

Ugh, this is my DHs favorite

Ugh, this is my DHs favorite excuse.. "they are just kids" BUT there is an exception to every rule, because our BS2 gets like ZERO breaks. And when DH is riding BS2 and I step in and say "Um, he's 2" I get the "Oh, stick up for your special BS2" hmmm... he's YOUR BS2 too! And God forbid, if I said "Oh just stick up for your special skids" It would be a dang nuclear holocaust in my house.

Funny how people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.

Auberry2's picture

"--they are ONLY kids, they

"--they are ONLY kids, they don't know what they are doing/saying"
^^^^^^^^I HATE this^^^^^^^^

My FDH's favorite twist on this is "He is only 5", Yeah, and next year he will only be six, only be seven until one day he is "only" 14 and you are wondering why he is in juvenile detention for *insert crime here*.

Direction, not intention, determines destination

"Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." Proverbs 29:17

3familiesIn1's picture

I'm at, He's only turning 7.

I'm at, He's only turning 7. I guess that never ends.

I also get, oh he is just being a boy. (I have girls)

Regulation #5
You are entitled to food, shelter and medical attention. Anything else is a privilege.

Tired...

DaizyDuke's picture

WHOA Nelly... your DH

WHOA Nelly... your DH actually said these exact words????

Funny how people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.