I'm going through it at this very moment
I am new here, and I am glad I found this site. At this very moment, I am feeling angry and irritated just because my husband said he wants me to find out what time the kids get out of school so he can call them. I am feeling this way because I know this means they will probably be coming over and it just gets me into a bad mood with everything. Ugh. I hate feeling this way, its going to start a fight between us and I cant even stop myself. Help.
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I hear you, but its not the
I hear you, but its not the call, its the point of them talking and maybe coming over. I feel irrational, but I dont care.
It probably would be good for
It probably would be good for me to find something to do while they are there but then I get mad that its them spending the time with him and not me. I need to find a way to move forward, without doing damage to myself, my husband, the kids and our relationship.
I get worked up every single
I get worked up every single one of the 2-3 days a week I have to pick SS6 up from school. How pathetic is that?!?!?
Even if he is 'being good' I don't enjoy alone time. By alone time I mean when DH is not here, I am never ever actually completely alone with SS6 - my BD12\BD7 and SD12 are always here with him. I would never ever allow DH to put me in the position to be completely alone with him. The child lies and I don't trust him. He went through a phase of lying to BM about BD12 being mean to him and even though DH found out it was a lie and he was making it all up - he never once cleared it up with BM..... so just saying, I never am alone.
How a 6 year old can make me uncomfortable in my own skin\home is unfortunate - I hate that I feel that way but I do each and every time I have to go pick him up.
OMG I so feel for you. IT
OMG I so feel for you. IT SUCKS with no easy way around it, through it or out of it.
Doesn't mean you have to be
Doesn't mean you have to be in it though. I found creating my own routine and my own schedule really helped me feel better. Doing more for myself. They aren't yours. You don't have to be responsible. That's his job.
I used to feel that same way,
I used to feel that same way, but my SS stayed with us full time since his BM wanted nothing to do with him. I felt like the outcast and resented that my then-boyfriend and I couldnt go on rides together when we would go to amusement parks, just walk around in the kiddie section. He would have to carry SS cause he was little so we couldnt hold hands, etc etc. But then I took some time off and really thought about what I wanted. Was i going to change my attitude cause my BF was worth it or was I going to leave cause I was going to live the rest of my life in resentment? Well I got to loving my SS, he needed that mother figure since his was an adrenaline junkie who only cared about herself and I accomodated myself happily into our already dysfunctional family! I love my now husband, kid, dog, and we have been happy for about 3 years now. I wouldnt change a thing for a "normal" family. How lame!
Thank you. Its not lame at
Thank you. Its not lame at all. I needed to hear that. I was just thinking, I have to be the change I
want to see. (didnt someone famous say that:)
I wish you good luck! Of
I wish you good luck! Of course its going to be hard to get to that comfortable stance in the whole sticky situation but you will. Or get out soon, cause it would be a shame to spend your time being unhappy and bitter. Dont do it for none other than you cause ultimately, you are the only one who is going to be miserable staying somewhere where you are feeling so-so all the time.
Im the same way. I am NEVER
Im the same way. I am NEVER happy when the skids are over. But I decided to look at it another way, now I can do the things I want to do because he's too busy with the skids. I make my hair appointments for this time, or I go shopping (I can't stand it when SO tags along anyways. He figures I don't need 99% of the things I look at, its irritating).
Or I work out..just anything to have ME time.
Now as much as I dread them coming over, I do look forward to alone time and doing the things I love to do..while he suffers with skids. Turns out, he actually misses me during this time because Im off doing my own thing!
Welcome to the club.
Welcome to the club. Restrictions must be set then they must be followed. Everything is always sunny and wonderful when they are not around. However, it really never gets better. Venting seems to be the best solution
!
If he wants to call them, he
If he wants to call them, he can find out what time they get out of school. That's silly. Don't respond and if he asks about it later say you were busy (in a matter of fact way)
I ignore and forget quite often when it comes to skids.