I have been reading this site for a few years now. I feel like I know you all without ever meeting you. There are some amazing people on this site and I have learned so much the past few years and without you guys I would never had made it this far. I am hoping now to get some advice, so please, if you have suggestions, throw them at me..whether they're good or bad.

My DH and I split a few months ago. It boiled down to a couple things. BM became too much for me to handle. While I love my DH and would do anything for him, I just couldn't handle her anymore. Like many of you, when we first met BM had him by the balls and despised me for no reason. Pretty normal story, right? DH always listened to my suggestions and within a couple years he finally had her in her place and things were great. However, she still constantly used SD11 as a tool to hurt DH. No matter how many times he sat SD down to try and undo the damage BM caused (which always happened to be about me, of course), SD was always caught in the middle and our relationship (me and SD) became strained. I worked very hard the best I knew how to get back to where we were at the beginning when she loved me deeply and wasn't looking at me through her mom's eyes, but it was just never the same (she is, after all, simply just trying to make her mom happy). I knew it, DH knew it and SD knew it. I knew I didn't ever want to deal with that type of hurt and drama my whole life, and I should have left a long time ago, I was just never strong enough because I love DH completely. He, on the other hand, knew that no matter how hard we both tried, his daughter was the one getting hurt and it was unfair to her to go through that, so he broke it off.

I am not the type of person who thinks he chose his daughter over me, or loves her more than me because they are two completely different types of relationships and I don't believe they should be compared to one another. I am, however, hurt that he let BM "win" essentially but I have to also think of SD because I do love her.

DH and I have talked and he is deeply saddened by how everything happened as well. We both love each other more than words can describe and didn't want it to end. We had SD half the week, every week so it wasn't an EOW type of hurt. It was constant. He tells me I deserve better, someone without the baggage and the drama and I agree. I need time to find myself again and really think about what kind of life I want. Unfortunately, I know I want him to be a part of it. We decided on this: take 6 months apart without any type of contact. We set a day, time and place to both meet at the end of that six months, and if we both still love each other and feel like trying to make this work we will both show up. If not, we move on. I want to take these next 6 months to try and figure out what I'm doing with my life and be happy with myself before trying to be happy again with him. Now, the thing is, if we do both show up that day and see what could possibly happen, I do not want to live with him again and jump back into that pain BM caused, and he agrees. He does not want to bring another woman into his daughter's life and has vowed not to until she is off to college, in 7 years.

My question is this: do you think it is possible to love a man and be in a relationship with him for only half the week for years on end until SD is grown? That is, of course, how our relationship started before I met her. We would be together the days he did not have SD and I would do my own thing when he did have her. It was easy, fun, carefree and we were madly in love, and SD never got hurt. I don't know, though if I could go back to that life after living with him for 3 years and being a family together. I have no kids of my own, and frankly, I'm not sure if I ever do. But I know, at least right now anyway, that I want him. May not be the case in 6 months, and he may not even show up that day, but the thought of not having him to grow old with makes my heart hurt.

Do any of you have this type of relationship with your SO? Am I crazy to even consider it? Please know that while I feel as though I failed because BM won, I do know that it probably is better for SD no matter how much it hurts me. I would greatly appreciate any opinions because I feel very lost at the moment.