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New to this forum, but apparently I'm in good company...

Magnolia1300's picture

I've been reading some of these posts and quite frankly while I'm sorry so many here feel the same way I do, I'm SO GLAD so many here feel the same way I do!!!

We've just finished round 6 of my SD15's middle weight championship pain in the a$$--I'm not responsible for any of my poor choices--fight.

I've raised this kid since she was 3 yrs old. You'd think that would give me a little leeway in the sm vs. bm attitude. Apparently not.

God, I'll be happy when they're on their own.

Magnolia1300's picture

Thanks ripley!

Honestly, I'm in shock that so many people feel the way I do. While I come from a divorced parents, it just never occurred to me that I would feel this way.

BUT, this step parenting thing.... wow. I'm beginning to understand a little and I've been doing this for 13 years now. You'd think I'd have figured it out by now. The second they turned into teenagers, ALL THE RULES CHANGED.

BigEasy1203's picture

Welcome to the board.

I think it's probably a similar experience for many people. Teenagers are hard enough to deal with when they are your own biological children. When they aren't, things are that much more difficult. Then, throw in the fact that many times the stepkids have no respect for the stepparent, and it's a formula for absolute frustration and misery.

On top of all of this, the spouse is the bio-parent, so they are of course going to look at things differently than you do, because the kids are their flesh and blood. You hate to say it, but it's true: at the end of the day, the attachment they have to their kids is stronger then the attachment they have to you. I'm not saying it should not be that way, but it doesn't make it any less difficult when you are upset at the stepkids over something legitimate, and the spouse thinks it's not a big deal.

Of course, no stepparent ever knows this going in. It's something you just learn on your own. When my stepkids were small, it felt like a family. They were young and eager to please and I enjoyed time with them. As they grew to teenagers and changed, I began to feel like an outsider. Then you think to yourself "I go to work every day and work hard so I can spend a lot of my money on these bratty kids who don't appreciate a thing?".

Hang in there. I mean, they have to move out eventually, right? Wink I count the days until that happens.