Bear with me, I'm almost 30 and this is my very first blog so pardon me if I don't follow some secret blog ettiquite. I have been feeling so guilty about my feelings for my SD until I came across this site. Let me fill you in. When I my hubby his BD was three. She was the cutest sweetest little girl. One of the big reasons I fell in love with him was seeing how good he was with her. Before we were married she even called me mom! Then the night before we got married a switch was flipped in her head. I don't know if it was something her mom said or what but she turned psycho. It's been three years and I think I'm at my breaking point. I think what makes it worse is that hubby, although he loves her, can't stand her either. To me I think if he doesn't like her and she's his shy should I have to. To give you some background on what I'm dealing with, last summer I put her in time out for jumping on my 1 yr old. After not even a minute this charming six yr old told me "I p!$$ed myself". When I asked why she said because I told her not to move. At one point she tried to smother her little brother with a pillow! At her house she punches walls screams and hits, at our house currently all she does is sits in a corner stares at the floor and cries. One night while we were all watching a movie she starts crying then screaming. When her dad asks what's wrong she began to tells him I had apparently just she I was going to cut her head off and kill her! I hadn't said a word. She once told mom she doesnt like me because i look at her! This kind of thing goes on everytime she's here. We have tried a number of things to show her she's loved and a part of our family bug now I'm at the point where I dont care. If she wants to cry all weekend. Fine! What does bother me is this game she plays where she wants everyone to feel bad for her. She will make up whatever she needs to to get someone to say 'oooh poor child'. She tells people her dad chokes her I theater to kill her and beat her she's even said my son threatens her. This worries me because I know one day she will say something to some one and next thing you know CPS is knocking at my door taking my children away and charging me with child abuse because of her stories. I take that back one time, we went on vacation to visit my parents, when we got back CPS did knock at my door because she told her mom that while she was with us 'some one' wouldnt tell us who touched her down there. Of course after investigating they found claims completely false but the horror! And she just thought it was funny. It scares me because I'm not a violent person and don't even believe in spanking but I sometimes imagine hitting her in the face with a brick! And that horrifying. I hate feeling that way and it scares me that I do. What's worse is if my hubby felt that way about my son I don't think I could stay with him and yet that's how I feel. I love him and don't want to get divorced but I don't know if I can live with feeling this way about his child. He has made the comment mamy times about giving up on her and I would always say you can't turn your back on your kid but now.... She told me once when we asked what we could do to make her happy. She of course said for me to leave, but only while she was there I could come back to my own house when she goes home. How thoughtful. I don't want to give her the satisfaction, yet maybe that's exactly what I should do. We are otherwise a happy family, don't argue, fight or yell. Until she's in the picture. Life is just to short for that. I keep thinking it will get better she will get older and see she was wrong but I don't know if I have the strenghth to stick around long enough to see if that's true.