Impossible situation.
I married my childhood sweetheart after we both got divorced three years ago. I relocated and sacrificed my career to stay home with my son (who was 9 at the time) and his kids, ages 9 and 7. His daughter – who is 12 now, had started to display horrible signs of jealousy and anger towards me. I had some profession photographs taken of myself and my two sons a few years prior (of which I cannot duplicate), and she tore them up into tiny pieces. I woke one day to find all 4 pairs of my sunglasses broken into pieces. She took a knife to a canvas print I had bought her a few years prior and ripped it from one corner to the other. She’s cursed at me, tried to hit me, pushed me and steals money from my purse. Last night I came home to find our bathroom sink stopped up because she had dumped all my lotion in the sink. Her father is aware of all of this, and because things are so tense between she and I, he wants to “handle things” with his daughter. This never gets done. DCS came to our home several months ago and after hearing about the things this SD has done and said she urged her father to have a psych examination done (he has not), and coming back for a follow up visit the social worker basically told him that his unwillingness to step up and correct his daughters behavior was an approval of her actions in her eyes. Our family therapist has said the exact same thing. He nods his head and agrees and acts as if he really “gets it” and wants to help her change her behavior, but that’s the extent of it.
The girl controls the whole house. She controls our relationship. Most nights I am in my room with the door shut because I just want some peace and zero drama, but this is no way to live.
I understand jealousy and can accept that some of that comes with being a relatively new woman in this man’s life, but this is extreme behavior and it’s really affecting my quality of life – as well as my son. He is exactly her age, and has never acted unkind of my DH or been disrespectful in any way. And he moved across country, had to adjust to 2 very unruly children, make new friends, leave his dad…
I love my DH, but this is getting intolerable. He automatically gets upset with me when I bring up the things she says and does. When I noticed all my lotion in the now clogged up sink and told him about it, he said, “It seems like you are just looking for things to be upset about. Why were you even looking in the sink anyway?” My patience is long gone and I am finding that I day dream of a new life – possibly lonely – but with less negativity and hate.