I am letting off a little steam so please bare with me while trying to type as fast as my thoughts are going. For the most part my family is a very easy going happy family (me, husband, D, & SD...we have the SD at our house a week on and a week off). You follow the rules of the household and things run smoothly. RESPECT is something I am teaching my SD. Her mom does not practice and morals or values. She is addicted to drugs. Let's the SD spend the night at boyfriends house. They argue back and forth with each other and think's her daughter (my SD) is her best friend. SD has no responsibilities. She doesn't have to do chores at her mom's house, her mom isn't involved in her school, never checks to make sure her homework is done, etc. Which in turn makes a very lazy teenager. Mind you she (the BM) is also addicted to drug and a diagnosed Phychopath (seriously, she is diagnosed with it). I ask her nightly if she did her homework, I check her grades online constantly, I help her with homework, I've taken her to her friends house, I buy things for her at the store, etc... My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we're together 2 years prior to the wedding. Respect is not something that was a priority in their previous household (they had bigger fish to fry). Now, to me respect is everything. I raise my 7 yo daughter with morals, virtues, respect. I was raised where you DO NOT talk back to your parents...it didn't even cross your mind. It's been a challenge to teach a teenager how to respect yourself, others, parents, etc.

Recently, we had a blow up about something silly. She asked her dad to drive her soemwhere that wasn't far from our house at all. I suggested to her (because it was a nice day) maybe she should think about walking. It's a safe area, it was in the middle of the day, and like I said it was a beautiful day. I stayed calm and was trying to explain to her that it wouldn't kill her to walk. She responded to me with a serious attitude and said "I'm not walking ANYWHERE!". EXCUSE ME?? You can imagine my thoughts at this point. She told me she wasn't going to walk anywhere ever! I about flew through the roof! Now, husband already told SD he would take her, which is fine, but I want him to realize she coud have walked, it was a nice day, and maybe consider telling her to meet up with friends and walk. Now because her dad already told her he would take her she looked at me like I was the devil for thinking such an unbelievable thought. I was floored! I told her if she wanted to act like that then she was not to ask me for a ride or any favors until she straightened up. She responded with a bratty "i asked my dad to take me not you". I had to walk away for a second. I told her that tone, sass, attitude, and disrespect will not be tolerated in our house (like i've told her before in previous arguements).

I have talk to the husband about this and he thinks I'm picking on her and calling her a bad kid. I explained thouroughly this isn't the case. He knows I wouldn't tolerate that coming from my 7 year old and surely not going to tolerate it from the SD. I asked for an apology. She refuses. She said she has nothing to say to me or apologize for. I will not have this in my household! This is an outrage!

I love my husband dearly. I love my daughter dearly! My step daughter I'm working on it. She is spitting imagine of her mother and carries herself poorly. She isn't independent at all (which is fine), but I will not allow a teenager or any family member disrepecting anyone in the household. Especially not the parents. I'm at a loss. I hope all this rambling makes sense.....I need suggestions please.