someoneouthere's picture

Why I Hate My Stepmom

These are the reasons why I hate my stepmom.

1 - She tells everyone I’m adopted

She introduces me to people like “This is Jeff’s (my dad) adopted daughter.” I was adopted when I was 2 days old. Most people didn’t know I was adopted until my stupid stepmom told them. At least once a month she finds some way to bring this up and I hate it!

She says she does it because I look so different then my dad so she has to say why so nobody thinks I’m her kid.

But its like me being adopted makes me the same as her kids. Like I’m not really my dad’s kid either.

2 - She got rid of my cat

1st thing that happened after my stupid stepmom moved in is we had to give my cat away because she was allergic.

Then she used it as an excuse to get rid of a bunch of the furniture, carpet and redecorate because she said there’s cat hair everywhere. The whole house changed & all my mom’s things are gone.

3 - Her son never gets punished when he destroys my things & steals from me

Her son is the biggest brat I’ve ever met. He’s a lazy fatass who steals, lies and bullies kids at school. He got suspended last year at school for bullying.

He goes through my room and steals my stuff . He was constantly taking money from me so I never keep money in my room anymore. When he’s bored he destroys my things for fun. He stole my mp3 player, erased all the songs on it and replace them with Justin Bieber. I told my dad but my stepmom yelled at me for tattling like I’m in kindergarten.

My stepbrother is special so he never gets into trouble. He could kill somebody & his mom would want me sent to jail.

4 - Every Christmas we go to her mom’s house

For the past two years we spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day & the day after Christmas at my stepmom’s mom’s house. No one cares that I’m miserable. All she cares is that her & her kids are happy.

I’m refusing to go this year so I can go to my grandma’s & I bet my stepmom couldn’t be happier. She got rid of me.

5 - She thinks everything I do is wrong always is criticizing me

Her way is the right way. Everything else is wrong. She nitpicks everything I do & gets all bent out of shape over stupid stuff like folding towels. It’s like as soon as I walk in the room there’s a non-stop criticizing of me & everything wrong with me.

She makes it so I can’t stand being anywhere near her. I hate going home. I hate my dad for not standing up for me. I will never forgive him.


helena_brass's picture

Okay, this is kind of

Okay, this is kind of hypocritical, but c'mon guys, let's be smart about this and not respond to obvious fishers. Smiling

Lauren1438's picture

honey, this is not the place

honey, this is not the place for you. This is a place for step mothers and fathers to vent and share with others what they are going through to get advice. I understand that you are unhappy. Might I suggest that you try speaking to your father, not it a disrespectful way but voicing your thoughts in a way that is constructive. Also I think that you need to find a new site to belong too.

ThatGirl's picture

I'm sorry you're having a

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time with your step-mom. Maybe family counseling is in order? I'd also suggest finding another forum that caters to step-kids, so that you can get advice from your peers Smiling

stepdown's picture

how old are you? if you are a

how old are you? if you are a minor i don't think you should post here, this not a forum for children. but if you are an adult then what are you doing living with dad and stepmom?

starfish's picture

LIKE!

LIKE!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
"The high road gives me a fucking nosebleed"

A simple click a day donates food to animal shelters!

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

someoneouthere's picture

I'm 17.

I'm 17.

stepdown's picture

have you considered

have you considered counseling? I think some of the things sound pretty bizarre but redecorating and replacing things is normal, she does not have to keep your mom's things, but I think YOU should/could keep mom's stuff and take with you when you are on your own.

someoneouthere's picture

i saw a couselor when my mom

i saw a couselor when my mom died, but my stepmom is the one who needs one. She's nuts!

purpledaisies's picture

Honey I really think you need

Honey I really think you need to sit your dad down and talk to him and see how things go. i don;t know her side of the story but I can tell you that my ss16 is adopted too and he knows but only b/c bm told him and she did it to crush him to upset dh his dad.

Now that he does know I do tell a few people but only b/c ss looks so much like dh then others do and they are his. ss16 knows I only do it b/c I am so amazed at how much he looks like dh then I do it to hurt him. He is more upset with his mom then he is with anyone.

I do think you need to talk with them and see about clearing the air so to speak. good luck

She may not even be aware that she is upsetting you.

AS far as getting rid of the cat and furniture she has every right to do so as I know how an allergy is and how bad that can be. Plus any woman including you when you get older will want to decorate your home to your tastes and not someone elses.

Do not worry about people talking "behind your back", it just means that you are one step ahead of them and they are exactly in the right direction to kiss your ass!

Totalybogus's picture

Where is your mom?

Where is your mom?

someoneouthere's picture

My mom died 3 1/2 years ago.

My mom died 3 1/2 years ago.

Bio father's picture

Sorry about your mom, this

Sorry about your mom, this site is for parents/step parents but you have the right to vent as long as you want. Who does your dad introduce you as

Bio dad and proud of it

AliceP's picture

Is your step mom on this

Is your step mom on this forum?

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

hun, ur in the wrong place.

hun, ur in the wrong place. dont come on here bashing us stepparents...this is OUR place to bash, vent, ask for advice, about kids like YOU. please, form your own site. it may help u and others like u vent...tbch, most skids give us stepparents NO chance of being able to live normal happy lives, most are entitled brats. so please, just give us this one thing, this site, where u guys cant destroy.

d0ylex's picture

You're an insensitive moron.

You're an insensitive moron. Obviously this is a website dedicated to step parents and related issues and this girl is likely seeking advice from people either in the same position or from people who can offer some insight from the otherside. It's extremely difficult to be a child of a divorce, have your life uprooted, and endure criticism and favoritism and be forced to bend over backwards from someone who isn't trying to be accommodating and nice to you and who obviously doesn't know their place as a non parent.

I definitely can understand where you're coming from and everyone who's giving you flack for posting on the website is an idiot. People should get family counseling, should have extensive talks with both parties and work to compromise but if one person is extremely stubborn on either end this isn't easy.

Doubletakex3's picture

Please take this comment as

Please take this comment as it's intended: well meaning and with an open heart.

When I was a 17 year old stepdaughter (who's mother was killed, btw) I had a huge laundry list of reasonable sounding complaints and grievances against my stepmom. I was filled with anger, resentment, hurt and betrayal. I channeled all those negative emotions into ambition and used it to drive myself to be independent, self-supporting and very successful (professionally & as a human).

I'm 44 now and have been a SM to 5 children and, trust me, it's harder than it looks. What I've learned between 17 and 44 can't possibly be conveyed in this comment box. Suffice to say that what I didn't account for in my list of grievances against my SM was that she was a good person, she made my father happy (and he was not happy prior to meeting her - he was in permanent grief & despair mode), she contributed financially to the household that I benefited from and she provided a role model of a responsible and kind woman. I also didn't account for the fact that she was to be a permanent day-to-day fixture in my father's life whereas I was a resident there for a few years (in the grand scheme of a life time). Your father needs your support of his new wife more than can probably appreciate and I'm sure you love him enough to want him to be happy.

Seventeen is a transition age to adulthood. Honestly, my advice is that you focus on planning the building blocks of YOUR future. Shift your focus away from what your SM is or is not doing to what you should be doing to become an independent, successful woman and loving daughter.

Best wishes to you on your journey.

P.S. there really is such a thing as karma (or what goes around comes around) and if you try to make her life miserable, trust me, you'll fall in love with a man with 5 kids. Smiling

I'm not Mary F'ing Poppins.

Totalybogus's picture

This was a fantastic

This was a fantastic response. Smiling

mom2tomany's picture

OMG How dare your SM have an

OMG How dare your SM have an allergy!!! She should have to suffer sever allergic reactions just so you can keep the cat!!!! After all you having a cat is sooo much more important then her health! Jawdropping!

AliceP's picture

uh there are medications you

uh there are medications you can take, I have allergies, I happen to be allergic to cats but I have had them around my whole life. Pets are a serious responsability to a child to anyone actually and I don't take kindly to people that treat them like some gimmiky toy that is cute at first but then run it's course and toss them aside. To a lot of people pets are their only friend and confidont. To a child they are their "baby" Getting rid of her pet, especially after she lost her mother was cruel and unusual in my , and it is not up to the child to have to worry about the SM comfort, it is up to the parent to worry about the childs well being and comfort and in doing so you should be able to create a child that learns to think of others. I sympathize with this child. I suspect though that she found this sight because maybe her own step mother is on here...hmmmm

emotionaly beat up's picture

Here we go again. None of us

Here we go again. None of us know if someoneoutthere is really being treated this way or if at 17 it is how she perceives it to be. But clearly if we are to believe her then she has one thing in common with the rest of us. Where we have DH's and SO's who do not support us and allow their children to treat us with contempt. She has her SO in this case her father who is failing to support her when she is being bullied and treated badly by his wife.

I hope there is a forum out there for you to vent on Someoneoutthere. If things at home are as you say, then perhaps the school counsellor may be a good starting point for you.

Echo's picture

"is really being treated this

"is really being treated this way or if at 17 it is how she perceives it to be" But, a persons perception IS their reality. It does not discount how this child feels.

Someoneoutthere, at 17, your time living with your SM is limited. When you turn 18, you can move out and distance yourself from her as much as you want to. Keep your relationship with your Dad on YOUR terms...dinners out, a movie, walks, etc. Whatever doesn't involve being in 'her' home.

I'm so sorry about your Mom, hon. At this time in your life, you need her the most. xoxox Can you turn to your Grandparents for some emotional support ? While you say that your SM needs counseling, with the loss of your precious Mom, it really wouldn't hurt you to talk with someone, too. Sometimes that outside point of view can be truly helpful. Best of luck to you, sweetie.

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

emotionaly beat up's picture

Echo was absolutely not

Echo was absolutely not dismissing her feelings in the slightest, I was really addressing a couple of other posters who kind of suggested that either this was just a scam or that it was all her fault.

I took the approach I did because we do not know if it was as others suggested a hoax, or if it was genuine, however, on that we don't know if any of us have told the real story, no I take that back our stories are all to similar for us to be making it up. Smiling I took the position that she was genuine, and felt that other posters telling her to get into Counselling may not get through to her as that is quite expensive and how could she afford it. So, I suggested that given she felt her father was not supporting her either she should begin with the school counsellor.

I actually think she is genuine, and as I said was just trying to get across to some other posters that it doesn't matter whether it is real or how she perceives it, she was asking for help and support.

100% agree with you a person's perception is their reality and given that is her reality and dad seemed to be taking a step back from it I thought the school counsellor may be the best option for someone her age.

StepAside's picture

Treat her like you'd like to

Treat her like you'd like to be treated and I think things will be better.

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

skylarksms's picture

A lot of these complaints

A lot of these complaints seem to be ones that COULD be aimed at your FATHER rather than SM. Of course, it is WAY easier to blame the SM than your own parent.

Unless your SM is Jesus or your dad doesn't have any backbone at all, I highly doubt that she is running the entire world, like you portray.

"The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance my deride it, but in the end, there it is." --Winston Churchill
******************************************
"Facts are neither good nor bad, they are only facts." --Rags

alwaysanxious's picture

Find a website/forum for

Find a website/forum for stepchildren.

"There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe."

I do my own thing because I have, check this out, a life." -tskarbow

Disneyfan's picture

Talk to your dad. Hopefully

Talk to your dad. Hopefully he will be able to make things better between you and your SM.

If one day you become a SM, your experinces may help you to better understand what you SKs may feel. Use the way your SM teats you as an example of what not to do if you are a SM one day.

Good luck to you and your family.

M.L. Lee's picture

I feel your pain. Stepparents

I feel your pain. Stepparents aren't always horrible, sometimes they're even really loving and kind but after looking at this forum I think the majority are dim-witted bitches (it's mainly the females I see ranting and boohooing about their issues.) I grew up as a step-kid and when I was 13 my stepmother drove me out of the house with her lying, whining, and complete and utter rudeness. Let me tell all you whiners and complainers around here: YOU MARRIED YOUR SPOUSE AND THEIR KIDS. LOL I laugh so fucking hard when I read "I didn't marry the kids, I married my DH (whatever the hell all your abbreviations mean, I'm assuming that's Dad/Husband). No, bitch, no. You married the kids too! If you didn't want them, well wow, get the fuck out!

Sometimes I can't even begin to fathom how incredibly selfish the majority of stepmothers on here sound. I completely understand because first things first, my stepmom tried to replace my mother when I was a baby. Everyone always told me how she insisted on taking care of me instead of my dad. She was alright, just sort of there as I grew up. Never really mean, never really nice until I was about 7 and her precious little daughter was born (btw, her daughter is now obviously stupid, while I'm smart and successful, so I find it funny how proper parenting like my mom gives can be all the difference.) I was pushed aside pretty damn fast, and she'd probably deny that but it was incredibly obvious. And tbh, I don't think most stepmothers have the capacity to love stepchildren as much as they love their own. But guess what? You don't have to be a MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT. My room was used as storage, she never wanted to do anything with me or even my dad (her husband's) family at all. They all hate her. Wanna know why? Really? CAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING WHORE AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!!!!!! AHAHAHHA. She cheated on her boyfriend with my dad while he was still married to my mom! Oh look, a couple of cheaters! They deserve eachother<3. My dad's family are simply saints. Even the ones I don't have anything in common with, see, or even get along with. They're all polite, kind, appropriate, and helpful NO MATTER WHAT. So when she says they hate her for no reason, it's not no reason sweetheart it's because you can't keep your legs closed with that nasty vagina of your's. I'd be scared to go near it even with bleach for a much needed disinfection. My mom fucking BEAT HER ASS up for the way she treated me. When I was 13 and finally decided never to go back there, it was a huge fiasco started by...gasp; HER. Her fatass couldn't even get up after my mom was done with her. She deserved it SOOO fucking bad. I'm happy that fat, lazy, narcissistic, bitch got what she deserved. She likes to bad mouth my mom and say she never moved on. My mom was considerate enough not to date after I told her how horrible my stepmom made me feel. Granted, it's more my dad's fault for marrying a psychopathic cunt but he's not much better. My mom is about 300 lbs. lighter than my stepmom, younger looking by at least 10 years even though they're the same age, a better parent, and she has a better daughter (me). My half-sister could never even compare to me. I'm a ballet prodigy, accomplished artist that's sold many works for a total well over $20,000.00, have a 4.0 GPA, have been accepted early into Stanford. Her kid? Failing the 3rd grade. Justice is SWEET. I loveeeee what Karma gave to that fucking bitch. She deserves it more than anyone. Sorry, wake up call time everybody. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SUPERFICIAL ISSUES. You don't want stepkids? Don't marry their parents DUMBASSES. They will ALWAYS come before you because they're ACTUAL FLESH AND BLOOD. You? You're nothing but a partner. That's replaceable. Do whatever you want with this post. I'm happy. Justice will be served to all you bitches too. For all the kind stepparents, keep doing what you're doing. Promise. It's EXTREMELY APPRECIATED BY ALL ABUSED STEPCHILDREN OUT THERE.

stepmisery's picture

There's nothing private about

There's nothing private about this website. You don't even have to register or become a member in order to read the entire website.

If you want privacy, someone might need to develop a paid member website and vet members to assure they are who they say they are.