Advice1234

You are not going to like this, but there is nothing you can do by yourself to fix this. Worse still if your husband continues with the "just ignore it" school of thought, then you guys are going to be in a whole heap of trouble. She is running off at the mouth and she is 9 what does your husband think is going to happen here, he does nothing about her rude behaviour, other than in her eyes except it, he allows her to be rude to you, and says nothing, but in her eyes he is actually saying "that's okay sweetie, I don't mind how rude you are to my wife, go ahead I won't do anything about it." He is by doing nothing, not only condoning her behaviour but encouraging it. So, when she is 10,11, 12, 13 -23, what he think will happen, one day she will just "Get Over It" no, sorry she won't.

Okay she is going through a difficult time, no doubt about it. So what, how does that excuse rudeness to anyone. How does that teach her to handle dissapointment in her life.

Of course she is having difficulty, she wants to be loyal to her mother, perfectly natural, and that will absolutely take time, but your husband allowing her to be rude to you during the waiting period, will not only make things worse, there is a good chance it will never get better.

This is her father's responsibility, and he needs to quit the guilty dad thing, if he loves his daughter then he has to put her needs ahead of his which is more than likely being no:1 on her popularity poll list. He is her father no matter who he is married to, wife No: 1 or wife No: 101 he is still her only father and as such he has a responsibility towards her to teach her right from wrong, to teach her respect, appreciation, and MANNERS.

She may be 9 today but she will be 19 tomorrow.

More importantly, he should have enough respect for his wife to step in when someone is being so rude to her. Both of you must show a united front here and that can be done quite easily with a 9 year old, if dad is on board. However if he continues down this road, not only will she reemain rude, she will become manipulative and make both your lives pretty damn difficult. I wish I could tell YOU how YOU could fix this, but as I said it is up to her father to do it. My only advice to you is to speak to your husband, perhaps point out that when other people ie; family/friends/teachers/shopassistants whatever here his daughter speaking rudely it creates a bad impression of her and of him as her father. Don't know if that will work, but he definately needs to fix it, and he definatley needs to support you. Now not later. Best of Luck.