Got a question about helping a child in college?
Ok as most know my dd has a full ride to school everything paid for. i just found out that she has a 4.0! Soooo proud of her! She has a job she will start sat. She has worked her butt off all her high school years to get where she is. plus all the activities she was in and her volunteer work.
Now my question is this since I am not paying for ANY of her schooling would it be acceptable for me to pay her car ins and her cell phone along with gas every once in while?? i ask b/c I feel like with all the hard work she has done that she deserves a little. And this is all I really can do as she has done everything else herself! A part of me feels like I should but a part of me feels a little guilty too.
help please and thanks
- purpledaisies's blog
- Log in to post comments
Comments
She sounds like she has
She sounds like she has earned something. Maybe you put restrictions on how long or the conditions in which you will continue to do it?
Yeah i was thinking as long
Yeah i was thinking as long as she keeps her scholarships I will continue to pay. I have talked to my dh and we both kinda feel the same way. She has done so much better then I really thought she would. Plus I know she told one guy to go away when he wanted her to let him drive her to a party while he had been drinking. I know she parties some but I think she is being responsible with it at least I hope it continues that way. I am just so proud that she has a 4.0 right now. WOW just blown away. I knew she was smart but I wasn't sure how she would cope being on her own and being able to do what she wanted when she wanted and how that would effect her grades but so far she has proven she can do it.
WOW--Congratulations! Being
WOW--Congratulations! Being a college student myself a few years ago, it was always nice to be rewarded for my scholarly efforts. I highly reccommend rewarding her. Now, if she was not helping herself by making grades and getting a job that would be a different story.
My ss is 22 yrs old lives at home with momma(not us), already quit school once decided to go back and he is working maybe 25 hrs a week....and again is not making the grades.....
My husband refuses to take his name off our cell bill because he wants to help him out. I am sorry but this is one kid who does not need rewarding!
So, give your dd a treat help her out becasue she seems to know what her goals are and is resposible!
I think if a child is being
I think if a child is being responsible, working hard, focusing on what's important, it is good to encourage that behavior. This is totally different than if she was a below average student in high school, then insisted on going to an expensive college and needed her parents to pay for it, and was doing nothing but taking the minimum number of hours. Also, it's even better when they don't expect to be helped.
If you can afford it, I
If you can afford it, I certainly would help her out as much as you can. Congrats to you both. It took great parenting to get her where she is at right now.
My deal with my kids is … I will pay for their college for 2 years, ONLY if it is CC college. I will also pay for their insurance until they graduate college and cell phone until they graduate college. Gas and clothes are on them. Oh…I also pay for Triple A. If I could afford it, I would help more, but they do fine since they work also.
That is a good idea too.
That is a good idea too. thanks
Yeah I know she is taking 16
Yeah I know she is taking 16 hours right now too btw... I forgot to mention that. I guess I am feeling like a proud mamma right right and I have her car b/c the tags expired yesterday and I will renew them fri and take it back to her. So that got me to thinking about just keeping her on my ins and her cell bill and I was thinking of upgrading her phone as she just has a basic one right now and that line is ready for one.
Thanks ladies I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over doing it but I wanted to let her know how proud of her that I am.
Heck yeah! Gas and a cell
Heck yeah! Gas and a cell phone bill compared to tuition and/or books.... I would give her gas money till she graduates and it still would not be hald as much. Sounds like you raised a really great girl. And i think it would sho her just how proud of her you are!
Great job mom
She has already learned that you have to work hard for what you want and need. UNLIKE other kids who think everything is suppose to be given to them just because
Absolutely! My parents paid
Absolutely! My parents paid for my car insurance and cell phone in college. We never even discussed when they would stop. I didn't have any accidents or tickets, so we didn't talk about it. When I was 20 they finally said I needed to get my own and they helped me find cheap insurance, and that was it. No discussion, and I didn't even think about why it happened. As for my cell phone, back in those days they weren't quite as prevalent, and I didn't use it much. When I got a newer one, I was 23 and living in my own apartment and I told my mom it was time I paid for my own phone. She actually tried to argue with me, but I told her I wanted to use it more often, so it was only fair I took responsibility for my own cell phone.
For responsible kids, there's no reason why you should question wanting to help them out! They will appreciate the help and when you no longer can or want to, they really will understand that too.
I suggest giving her the same
I suggest giving her the same amout of money you would have for car ins and cell phone bill and let her pay them directly to teach her financial responsbility and money (bill) management. My ex-H and I gave his daugther a stipend of $250/month until she turned 23. The money was direct deposited into her account on the same day each month. We felt a stipend was a way to teach her money management skills. And, I suggest parameters around the contributions. My SD is still in school and she's 27 (2 bachelor degrees & 1 semester left for a master's degree) later!