Last week I posted my "twist" that while I knew I should be thankful for a weekend away, I was instead bothered that SD would be having free run of my home and ordering SO around while I was gone. Several kind members helped me focus on having some quality ME time out of town and I felt a little better.

I think I mentioned in that post, and certainly have mentioned over and over again here, that SO and I have had exactly 1 weekend alone together in almost 2 years. We have SD every single weekend. We both work during the week, so the weekends are our only opportunity to spend any kind of time together. I've told SO many times how much I would value some quality time, and really if we want our relationship to last, we actually need it occasionally.

Here's the twist on the twist: this past weekend, while I was out of town and my own kids were otherwise engaged, SD only came over for a couple hours. In other words, while I was gone and couldn't benefit from it, SD didn't come for the weekend for like the 3rd time ever.

Does SO not ever listen to me about the quality time? I'm actually kind of pissed at him. SD did something with BM's extended family, so it's not like he specifically asked for her not to come...but I'm pissed because he didn't insist on her being with him this time, when all the other times (as in when it was important to me or when SD had the chance to do something else), he did.

I'm also pissed because he's outraged that BM's family wanted to take her on his time. I don't think that it's fair to BM, her family, or SD that she is never allowed to do anything away from him on a weekend. Some things take place only on weekends. Before anyone on this site gets into the mode of how he deserves every minute of parenting time, let me please mention that SD lives ON THE SAME BLOCK as us. He can see her any single day he wants to. BM doesn't care when SD comes over as long as it doesn't add up to more than 35% of the time, which would alter the CS she receives. I also don't think it's fair to BM that she always has SD during the week, so SO never has to deal with the weekly routine of school, bath time, and all the other assorted drudgery. Oh, and I hate BM, by the way, but I can still recognize when something is not fair to her.

I told him that I didn't think it was fair to BM or SD. I asked him if he thought visitation was for his benefit only or for SD's benefit as well. I asked him if SD would never be allowed to go anywhere with BM or her family. I told him that even though I think BM is a POS, I still didn't think it was fair that she had to do all the work during the week and he gets to be the funtime weekend dad. I told him that I frankly pretty much resent my kids' bio-dads for not doing any of the hard parenting during the week and just seeing the kids on weekends and/or holidays. **This is not a criticism of parents who only see their kids on weekends/holidays- just saying that parents who have the opportunity to live very close to their kids and be available on weekdays should bear some of the burden. My son's dad at least phones in some parenting during the week. SO does virtually nothing during the week.

I could tell tension was starting to build and it's not really a hill I feel like dying on this week, so we both walked away. I'm still mildly pissed about his decisions and reactions, but I'm not going to harp on it right now. Our relationship feels kind of shaky, due in large part to the fact that WE DON'T GET TO SPEND ANY TIME TOGETHER (see, it's a vicious circle- another twist on the twist on a twist).

I live for weekends, but I also hate weekends now.