Oct 18
Last night was very difficult, and I guess the start of the downfall of the marriage
SS came home from school and I had just noticed his pullover had headphones in the ties. So I said cool sweater, he snapped a comeback like, thanks for noticing, got this months ago. First I had seen it.
Then later at dinner I was serving up my dinner after my wife did hers, and he was just standing there watching me butter up the biscuits, so I suggested he grab a plate and a bowl. He lost it on me, saying he knows how to get food. The argument didnt end there, just kept going until I couldn't stand it and left the apartment for about an hour. My wife apparently totally chewed him out for his vile behaviour towards me. She has suggested that I keep my distance from him and not talk to him.
This morning he was looking for his keys and I said, well, you did laundry last night, you had the keys then, and he held up his hand to shut me up.
Getting tired of his total disregard for respect for me.
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Comments
Wow. I'm sorry that you are
Wow. I'm sorry that you are being treated with such disrespect in your own home.
I don't have any advice on what to do about SS other than suggest your wife get him counseling from a therapist who's well versed in dealing with angry teens. She can get recommendations from his pediatrician. He sounds like an angry kid.
Also, there's a forum here specifically for those with teenage stepkids. Click "forums" to your left, click on "teenage stepchildren issues" and you'll find that a lot of people here are in similar situations.
Best of luck!
This by far not the only
This by far not the only problem. He and I butt heads frequently. He is almost 15 and the center of a lot of anguish in the house. A few nights before this, I was about to ask him for the external hard drive back. He took it without permission and ended up wiping valuable work information from it so he could plug it into his xbox.
He never listens to the rules of the house, lazy, and has even been caught shoplifting.
We have been the center of investigations by the police, and the children's aid, all due to him and his bio father. His two younger brothers also are difficult as they look to him for guidance etc.
I will be posting more often now that I have found this website.
I agree with Foxie, ignore
I agree with Foxie, ignore him TOTALLY. Comment on NOTHING. If he is hungry his mother can deal with it.
The time will come when you and he are the only ones at home and he will need a ride or something from you. This is when you have a man to man discussion with him about having the respect of a wart. Actually less respect than a wart because a wart doesn't give you a smart arse remark. And he is on 'mute' for the forseeable future until he mans up and behaves like a male instead of a 14 yr old girl about to have her period. How men are not rude to other men because one day they need their help. No one is an island.
My DH has had this talk a couple of times with my kids (both girls and boys) and he has my backing.
Oh and if he is playing a game and you want the TV, turn off the game and turn on the TV. When he throws an almighty hissy fit you tower over him and say "SHUT UP. You do NOT pay the bills, YOU don't get a vote."
Your wife needs to take
Your wife needs to take charge and teach him that he cannot treat you with disrespect. Chewing him out doesn't cut it in my book. I suggest she figure out what punishment will 'hit him where it hurts' and enforce it for every infraction until he learns what is acceptable behavior.
I don't admire women who have to parent teenage sons but she needs to grow big balls and fast. (Please excuse my crassness)
Disengage...I agree. For
Disengage...I agree. For your marriage. Disengage. Don't react to a thing SS does. He wants to control your household. It's your house. You and your wife are the adults. Take it back from him!! Do not react to him!!
Whatever you value, he will destroy. That's his way of trying to control his world. 15 is a tough age for skids, and biokids as well. Believe it or not, he needs you to stand up to him and remain the constant you've been. Of course, there's that day when a boy becomes a man. If you're constant, he knows what he's dealing with. Cover your buttons! Don't let him push them! EVER!
If you need your hard drive and other valuables for work (or just because) then lock them up. Don't give up your wife for teenage drama....
I'm living this right now, too. So I get it completely. Come back here often...you will learn something new each time!