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What exactly is my lane?

stepmom22boys's picture

If a cell phone is under my contract and I pay the bill, is it in my ‘lane’ to shut the phone off or block individuals who abuse the privilege of said cell phone?

Friday BM was talking to SS11 and instructing him repeat everything she said. When DH realized what was going on, he asked SS11 to go to his room to talk to BM but she told him he didn’t have to. SS11 got pissed at DH for wanting him to go to his room. SS11 then shouted at me to stay in my lane and called me a f**king B*tch. My DH talked me into turning the phone on so he could communicate with SS11 while he was at his mother’s house. I told him that I would turn the phone back on but would block her numbers. Now BM is ordering DH to have the phone under his name and unblock her so she can communicate with her child. As a side note, he can still call her when he wants, and she still calls our home number.

So, am I in my lane?

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Anything in your name that you're paying for is yours to alter anyway you see fit. If it's in your name, that leaves you responsible.

If your DH wants to pay for a phone & the charges that go with it for the sake of assisting the BM in coaching his son to talk shit to you & your DH, let that be on him. With that said, if your DH is fine with his son spewing crap to him, that's one thing, but I would expect him to put a hand in the kid's mouth if he ever talks to you that way again.

There is nothing to say that either of you have to provide a phone in anyone's name for an 11-year old child. If she wants to talk to your SS, she can call him on the house phone. She can order all she wants. That doesn't mean your DH has to obey.

You are very much in your lane. She's the one crossing the line.

aggravated1's picture

Um, you are in YOUR lane. They have driven over onto YOUR side and attempted to run you over.
What do you think? honestly, do you think it's ok for the kid to call you that name and still have a phone?
Regardless of how much DH wants to talk to him? So you can be talked to like a dog, but he can maintain contact with his precious?

And if BM wants to maintain contact with her son, she can either
1) buy him a cell with her own money
or 2) call the house phone. There is no court order saying you have to buy a cell phone for an 11 year old.

frustratedstepdad's picture

I-m so happy This. If your DH didn't grab SS and put the fear of God into him for calling you that, then you may be headed down a long road of dealing with an entitled SS for the rest of your life.

Jsmom's picture

Disconnect the phone...No way do I pay for something and have someone treat me that way. If they want to communicate they can figure out another way. Why the hell should you contribute to this mess. Gotta love a BM who instigated that mess....BM Strikes again...

stepmom22boys's picture

Thanks for all the comments; I plan to let DH read them tonight. After that, I am going to let him know that I am turning the phone off completely.

I will separate our finances if DH decides to establish a mobile account to accommodate SS and BM. I did offer the lines to BM. She declined, of course.

I will be on this site a lot more over the next few months as BM's world is getting ready to change and she is going to fight it every step of the way. She will blame it all on me and not accept responsibility for her own actions. Basically DH is tired of her crap and has hired an attorney. Said attorney is suppose contact BM this week.

alwaysanxious's picture

I am curious. After he called you a f***ing b, how are his bruises healing?

That should be the only thing you need to post here. Shut off the phone. No explanation needed. When asked why, tell SS because I am THE f**ing b**ch!

stepmom22boys's picture

I have thought about it a lot today and decided to use that reason for doing or not doing everything that goes against what he wants... Smile I am taking the TV that I purchased out of his room today because I am a f**king b**ch!

alwaysanxious's picture

Very nice. Don't get emotional. Don't make it personal. Its about respect for you in your home. You are the adult. If he doesn't respect you, then he needs nothing from you.