I wish she was different....
I'm so glad I found this site! I've been feeling quite depressed that I am "stuck" with this child. She is cheeky, lazy,ungrateful and in need of some serious discipline. I decided previously not to have a child but now I'm wondering if I should, just so I can have a child that will be disciplined and that I actually like! She is nothing like me;a tomboy whereas I am feminine;ill-mannered whereas I was taught and value good manners. Her father tries to discipline her but he is a bit of a softie so after a while she just wears him down.
Sometimes I just cannot hold my tongue and then I end up feeling bad because I have upset her.
She has her issues...which is evident in her weight problem but I go through periods where I just can't stand her!At least I know I'm not alone...or a bad person.
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How old is she?? Not that it
How old is she?? Not that it really matters, as I have now given up with my SD21 and I've watched her grow from a child to a nasty teen to an uncaring Adult, so I know it doesn't get better. I am tired of the SAME arguements with my DH about her...she is the only thing we row about, the only...... I know she will always be a part of his life, and now we are in a different country we hardly see her, but I too wondered how I could make this situation better for years, only to realise quite recently that it is not MINE to change....
DH can have a totally guilt full relationship with her but I am and have been disengaging. This site is great it has given me some hope back that I am not the nasty crazy person sometimes people think I am. That I am entitled to an opinion, to be respected in my home, and will not change my mind . I cannot stand her lies, her me me attitude and how she is around her DH.
We too maybe adding to our family next year, and I don't care what the rest of the family will say or how the skids will be involved, by then they will both be adults and not live with us.....that is one thing I will never allow again. Sd21 was with us and I think I would have kicked her out if DH hadn't finally paid for her flights back !!! She is an adult now and I am too, and I do not wish to have such a toxic personality in my life....
You are not alone, and you are not a bad person, it's just that the cliches which come with being a SM can poison your thoughts..... Usually guilty Dads want the Disney experience, while everyone else expects Brady Bunch results too...... SIGH.......
I have very many of the same
I have very many of the same feelings about my SD11. Her mother is hardly in the picture and she lives full with us. She is so very manipulative it is insane. Her dad and grandmother seem to be totally blind to reality. No matter how terribly she acts or how mean she is...they actually appear to think its cute and love and dote on her even more the worse she is. Everyone on the outside looking in see it. She has no rules or expectations. She is one of those people that has to be the center of attention and requires constant enertainment. There are times when I think I really don't like this child and I feel guilty about that. I totally understand where you are coming from!
You are not alone. I have a 7
You are not alone. I have a 7 year old SD. She is very attached to her Daddy and not independent in the slightest. Needs us at her side at all times. Rarely a second to breathe until bed time. She is a tomboy--I am a girly girl. I hate sports. She loves them and makes her Daddy play all day long. She is spoiled and ungrateful. She gets everything she ever wants but it is never enough. I wish she was different a lot of the time too. We aren't bad people. We feel how we feel and we can't change that.