To tell you the truth, you may never "love" your stepkids. I have known mine for 3 and a half years and I don't "love" her, I care for her, but not love. Also, you need to talk with your BF and find out what his expectations are for your relationship with the SK's. Yes, it does take time to adjust and every situation is different. It will all really depend on the Bio-parents and what they expect and demand out of behavior of their children. Hope this helps some.

I agree. I don't 'love' my skids. I've known them for 5 years. They've lived with us 2 out of those 5 years. I don't think I'll ever 'love' them. I care about what happens to them. I love their father my husband but 'love' is a strong word. It's also pretty difficult to love someone when you have drama in the midst of everything. It kind of complicates relationships.
I think that you and your bf should talk. Sometimes the pressure that he puts on you and the skids relationship makes things worse. He needs to understand that things have to take their course and develop on their own. Forced relationships = failed relationships. No one wants to be forced to do anything. It has to come from the heart.

I don't think you're wrong at all. It does take time to get to know kids that aren't yours, especially if you aren't spending a lot of quality time with them. You and your bf should pick a time when you are both in a good mood (and definately when the kids aren't around) to have a discussion. Think of a few things that you can all do together so that you can get to know the kids better. You may never feel very close to these kids, especially since they are already teenagers. Just show your bf that you are genuinely working on creating a positive relationship with his children. Feelings of affection don't happen over night and 5 months is not long enough to create that kind of bond between you and the skids.

In my situation, I have known my SD7 for about a year and three months and I am just now getting to the point where I feel I do have genuine affection for her. I still cared about her before that, but my internal struggles over how I felt were a lot more complicated. I could talk (and still do talk!) to my SO about struggles and challenges that I face as a woman in my position, but some of the more uncharitable thoughts I kept/keep to myself since nothing good can come from airing them.

Good luck to you. I think that time and some positive conversations on the topic will change your situation/feelings for the better

I have been with my Bf for 2 1/2 years. Yes, I love his kids. Like my own daughter. NO! I don't expect too. How can I? Love yes, but there is depth to love. It takes time. fsd11 and fss13 are great but love takes growth and time.

Being with him doesn't mean acceptance of what goes on with or surrounding his kids. Yes they are a fact of life. But "he already has a family and you need to get use to that" is a little harsh considering you have only been together 5 months.

Give the relationship time. You'll know soon enough if he is a keeper and you are willing to take on the "step" drama.

I've been with my wife for almost 5 years, and it is definitely difficult to establish a loving relationship with skids, especially when they are adults. Like others have said I care what happens to my skids (To be honest it probably has more to do with not wanting to see my wife suffer if something bad happens in their lives) but I don't know about "love". I would give my life in a heartbeat for my wife, but my skids I just don't think I could, not with all of the drama and stress they have caused me.