My SS drives me up the wall, I dread every visit and count the minutes until he goes home....I feel guilty about this.
I have been a stepmom to a 10yr old boy for about 5 years. My SS is a good kid and well behaved but he has been so babyied it makes me sick! He is 10yrs and has always slept in bed with his mother to this day. It took until he was about 8yrs olds to go to sleep without his dad laying down with him at our house. Then the last two years he just comes in our room crying at night that he had a bad dream to get his dad to come to bed with him. My SS's mom comes to every one of my husbands family gatherings so I have to watch first hand the absurtity. He calls her mommy and she picks him up and holds him on her hip. "a 10 year old boy"! He just this year was able to walk into school by himself, he was always walked to his classroom everyday. When he stays over, every time my husb is out of the room he asked where's my dad? If he is in the bathroom he knocks on the door, or searches him out contantly. He is never hungry when a meal is made and is only hungry when its time to go to bed or the food has just been cleaned up. When he does eat, it is contant loud smacking that makes me what to poke out my eyes! Any time he watches any show on tv with us, he talks through the entire show. With stuff like, "he's mad, right?" "Why did he do that?", about 5 min. of an hour show he is quiet.
He is an only child by his mom and an only grandchild on his moms side. When he loses a tooth he gets about $60 dollars from his mom's side of the family. Everything revolves around him at her house. His only hobby is video games and just wants to do it 24-7. You have to tell him every move to make, like he'll get out of the car and just walk off and leave the car door open. He is a smart kid and is not slow, he has just been extremely babied and it drives me crazy! He used to contantly interupt every time I tried to talk to my husband. My husb put a stop to that thankfully. This week he is staying 10days in a row, I count down the minutes and can't wait for him to leave. We have a 12 month old and it has gotten better since she came along, since he is not the center of attention anymore at our house. My husb doesn't have the time to baby him. I have an 19 year old daughter so I have had a child before the baby, my daughter was an only child and she did things on her own and slept on her own. I could go on!!!!
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I can totally relate to this.
I can totally relate to this. My BF has a 12yo son who constantly sits on his lap, lays his head in his lap, and calls him daddy. In my opinion, this child should be acting much more mature than this. He actually cried when my BF forgot to pick dinner up for him from Chick Fil A and had to have McDonalds instead!
It is so frustrating. I just do my best to tune him out and I refuse to baby him like everyone else in his life does.
Yes I feel like my SS acts
Yes I feel like my SS acts about 3years behind where he should be. Funny thing, when he is with friends he acts his age!
omg...I feel your pain...I
omg...I feel your pain...I have the same situation with an 11 year old SD who lives full time with us. She does many of the things you describe...she also still sits on daddy's lap and has to hold his hand everywhere. She still rides in the grocery cart...constantly talks babytalk and whines. It is all an attention getting deal. These kids are smart and they know what works to manipulate. They know that their parents and grandparents are desperate for them not to grow up and acting like a baby will get them what they want because they are making their parents and grandparents happy. That is just my take on it. It absolutely drives me bananas.
I have been feeling like a
I have been feeling like a bad person for having these feelings. After finding this site, I think I am having normal feelisngs.
Gosh im glad im not the only
Gosh im glad im not the only one. I was a stepdaughter myself and didn't have my bio mom in my life, so my stepmom was my mom. I called her mom and she treated me like crap until I was an adult. She showed so my bias towards her own son she had with my dad. So I do understand being a stepkid. I never treat my skid badly, I just try to remove myself, go to the bedroom and watch tv or something. It just grates on my nerves so bad! Since we have had the baby my husband has been much better about not babying him and is making him grow up. But I know its still that way with his mom. I wonder at times if he will still be sleeping in bed with his mom when he is 16? By the way the husb ex has never had a boyfriend since the split seven years ago, and i'm sure that contributes why she does it.
I hear ya, at my house it's
I hear ya, at my house it's "wheres my dad?" over and over! AHHHHHHHH!
I never let my own daughter
I never let my own daughter sleep in bed with me, so I sure wasn't going to let someone elses kid.
I just flat can't sleep if I'm crowed. My husb always would lay down in my SS bed until he fell asleep. My husb is working nights now and taking care of our new baby during the day while I work. So its pretty much cut down on that all together lately.
Yes, I would like to know the
Yes, I would like to know the same thing. It has been a great source of stress for me over the years. His family adores her and considers her still family. He has asked her not to come and has told his family how we feel but obviously they don't care enough about our feelings. And since she has no boyfriend, she doesnt have anyone to tell her that's inapropriate. We just came to the conclusion that we can only control our own house and not who other people invite. So sometimes we don't go, or sometime we try to have gatherings at our house and don't invite her, other times we suck it up and go and she is there. Sometimes I think things like that, make me have some resentment for my SS, because thats his mom and I don't agree with the way she does things.