Backs me up, but not a father
I'm so frustrated lately. We found some evidence last week of foul play on the SS15's part, so he's supposed to be grounded from texting friends, facebook and other stuff for the week. Somehow, he has all of this stuff still. When I told my DH that I'm not going to enforce this because I think it's their place, he got pissed at me... :jawdrop: WHAT!!??
Three reasons I think they should be enforcing it, not me:
1. my thoughts on this punishment were not taken into account
2. BM was the first one to let stuff slip
3. SS15 does not respect me the way he does his parents
If I had been in this situation and had been making the punishment, I told them that I would have everything taken away, not just communication devices. With his "extra" time, he would be doing a Bible study on the heart issue that lead to this slip. On top of that, he would again be writing letters of apology to every one that he hurt. None of these things were even considered. "Well, I don't want to humiliate him" is what BM said. Funny because I think that's exactly what he needs right now. I'm so sick of always being the one that they expect to enforce the rules and punishments, but when he does something right, they take the credit. And I'm left here "just the stepmom".
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I've asked him, but he gets
I've asked him, but he gets defensive and it ends up being an argument and he feels disrespected and we end up not getting an answer. My thought is that he doesn't want to argue with the BM, so he just does what she wants, even if he doesn't fully agree with it. Plus, when he has tried to enforce stuff in the past, she's said things to him like "You're beeing to hard on him." and "Why are you so mean to the kids?" That sure makes him want to enforce stuff. It's frustrating to me because I believe there should be some discipline and fairly strict, but she makes decisions while she's still angry, so they're always either too strict to enforce or really unrelated (which confuses the kids) or irrational (You're grounded for a month). It's just hard for me to do anything.