Hello everyone! I am new at this and like many, choosing to give it a shot. I am a young woman who is dating a guy who is pratcically doubled my age and although I love him and have come to appreciating and enjoying his companionship, I've realized the uh-ohs in accepting him PLUS his package. He has custody of his two kids who are teens and closer to my age than me to my guy. Although they don't seem to have an issue with that-I'm finding it difficult in other areas. In wanting to show my guy appreciation for what he does for me, I try helping him in the home but have come to find the kids more lazy than ever. They are messy and it drives me nuts....i see all these bad habits, lack of etiquette, and not too sure if its me being insensitive because they arent biologically mine or that its practically normal. Sometimes I can deal with them and sometimes I cant stand them. He is so lenient with them and constantly tells me i wouldnt understand but sheeh they practically slave him round. I'm a strong believer with teaching your children to become independent and a little less lenient you can say. The BM is not involved the way she should be-very inconsistent with her involvment and that seems to also take a toll on him and the kids. Quite stressful. Is it normal to also think that my kids will never be his first although they will be mine. To think that he can possibly have favoritism and preference. It's a little frustrating knowing experiencing certain things will not be a first for him especially when it comes to me having his children.