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Feeling so confused

DaisyMae's picture

Submitted by DaisyMae on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 4:22pm

I'm really struggling emotionally these days. SS14 has moved in with us full time due to some pretty serious issues he was having with his BM. Prior to this the 2 SSs were with us every other weekend. I gave DH my support for SS14 to move in, he really needs his dad I think. I'm really stuggling with the accepting the change it's having on my life. I'm used to having DH to myself, there's constant stress in the house, I think SS14 needs to be disciplined more, I'm worried about our finances, I basically feel like I have no control over my life at all.

When DH and I got married, we combined our finances. I make quite a bit more than he does, no big deal, plus he pays child support obviously. He's getting half of that back now since we have SS14 full time, but it's not really enough to cover things. We have to add him to our insurance, he needs counseling, and eats us out of house and home. I feel like my financial life is also being so affected by this.

I don't want to be selfish about this, I made a committment to him and I love him with my whole heart. But how do I wrap my mind around all of this? Im not happy, I'm not comfortable in my home, and I miss my husband.

I'm not sure I'm making sense, I don't know what I'm looking for either. Just looking for words of wisdom I guess and a place to vent.

Comments

Helpless0987's picture

Submitted by Helpless0987 on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 4:33pm

I more than feel your pain and am in almost identical situation. Truth is I've come to even resenting the kids. Ss15 eats everything and drinks everything.... I'm beyond broke, the strain of hi being here/ money issues is causing me to almost melt down every chance I have. He makes me uncomfortable and always is making disgusting messes everywhere, doesn't listen and lies constantly. I can't afford to pay the extras to feed him, electricity usage, extra showers, laundry and rides everywhere. Bf doesn't seem to understand what the big deal is but the truth is I'm miserable when he's here I don't even want to be in the same room as him Sad

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 4:43pm

You might need to talk to him and say that when you combined your finances it was very different situation but now that the situation has changed you think you should have seperate finances. Then you can just combine the finances you use for the home and what needs for the step can be on him. This should include special food for him, snacks, likes, etc. feeding boys is expensive he should relize that. It is your job to share your household expences not to support his child. You will be resentful if this becomes the case.