this really works!!! ive done it, suggested it to others who say its worked for them too! i would'nt go so far to say it could cure major behavioral problems, but if the major issue is a SD who wants daddy all to herself and seems to hate your guts just for existting-this may be the answer!
My SD was 8 when i began dating her father. i have no children. be fair in these cases, please. dont assume your SD is a monster, shes still a kid who wants what she wants-this is normal. i can say that now of course, but 3 years ago, just like some of you, i thought she was the spawn of satan and my life was being destroyed everytime she'd visit. i considered not marrying H because of her. Now she lives with me full-time, i love her like she was my own, we are very close and she absolutly respects me. hang in there ladies-there is hope!
For the first few months of our relationship we stayed very low-key so as not to rattle her too much, then we chose to move in together(my place btw) so things were bound to get a little hairy-and they did. she visited every second weekend. she would completly ignore me unless daddy was talking to me or sitting by me or paying attention to me at all. then there was no end to what she could do to end those little moments. daddy was clueless of course and fell for every move, id get frustrated and express my feelings, hed get defensive, we'd argue-i would lose and she would win, every time. she went so far as to tell her dad not to hug me or kiss me when she was around, and she hated us sitting beside each other or holding hands. in the rare times i was alone with her she would talk non-stop about "mom and dad this" and "mom and dad that" and most of the stories were fiction to top it off. i wouldnt give her the satifaction of knowing that it irked me though. i didnt know at the time what a usefull strategy this would lead to.
its just a matter of physchology, both for dad and SD. whether we like it or not, the "wicked stepmother" stigma exists (thank-you disney) for both children and their fathers. dad does not want parenting advice from you, thats insulting to him so he likely won't care about your opinions and you'll only be wasting your time. there is nothing wrong with HIS daughter because that would mean he isnt perfect, so it must be in your head right? lol.
We get jealous too, how silly, to be jealous of an 8 year old? evil-geniuses, thats exactly what they want. now your a sucker, green with jealousy and full of delusions. welcome stepmom. if you havent given up all hope try this!
Encourage dad to spend as much quality time as humanly possible with SD. suggest going for walks, watching kid movies, reading a book, go to lunch, take her shopping, tea party...whatever she wants really. dont let him slack either, hes been making your life hell because of his fatherly guilt, if you work that angle, you can't lose. let her see you encourage this too, then give dad a break once in a while for some SD and you GIRL TIME. we watched chick flicks and did makeovers,whatever works, but no daddy during GIRL TIME. believe it or not, SD will be so over stimulated she will need a break from both of you. I can also promise, Daddys attitude towards little princess will ease in a big way too, and the best part is that it will be his own choice to say "no", to discipline her when she gets out of line, and to more often than not, choose to have adult conversations and show you affection whenever he wants whether little darling likes it or not. now he is starting to see her for what she really is without the distraction of you around. if she is out of line, he will see it. he will also get bored of pleasing her because there really is no end to pleasing a duaghter. becomes thank-less after a while and dads ego isnt being fed.now he needs you. Daughter is on verge or already has given up on fantasy of having daddy all to herself, who wants him? he says "no" now,and no longer falls all over himself for her benefit. sigh! now they are both competing for your affection and life makes sense again..lol. good luck!!!