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First I'm so relieved Second I ahve a question about vacation and skids.

purpledaisies's picture

I thought my right breast was leaking but it is not and if it were I am still with in my warranty so i could have it replaced for free!! He told me to keep an eye on it and we will make sure that if there is a problem it will be taken care of! Smile

Second I know this is far out but we are planing on going to disney in oct 2012 and of course that is during school and on bm's time.

My question is how do we approach bm with this so that she will let them go? We are planing on calling their school to get everything set up before hand but aside from that what else should we do?

Comments

PoisonApples's picture

?

Weren't you the one posting about having to get your FIL to pay to get your electricity turned back on and putting fuel in your car?

But a day or two later you're talking about your boob job and planning a trip to Disney?

Maybe you should take a look at your priorities girl!

purpledaisies's picture

WOAW this is a long time out and we paid fil back already! It wasn't something that happens all the time it was an accident and it is taken care of!

My boob job was years ago! WE HAD the money and paid off a ton of bills before hand! You do not know the entire story to make such a call.

PoisonApples's picture

I guess I just wondered why you'd post about a possible leaking boob that isn't really leaking after all....unless you just want to bring attention to your boobs for some reason.

I just thought it was odd.

purpledaisies's picture

I would like some suggestions on how to handle bm when the times comes so that the boys can go with us. Thanks Smile

Shell97's picture

I suggest talking to BM before talking to the school. Because the school can't tell you that you can take skids on vacation, BM does. DH & I took bs13, sd14, & sd16 on a vacation to Disney about 5 years ago during the school year. We had to get BM's consent to take the skids, not the schools. Then we had to get the schools approval, but we had to fill out a form for each kid and describe that some parts of our trip we going to be educational, so that the school didn't count it against them. We also had all of their teachers get the work they were going to miss together, so they could do it while we were on our trip. We made them work on it an hour every night after we got back to our hotel. They also each had to write a small report on what educational things we did. But you really need to talk to BM about it it first, before ya go through the hassle with the school to get their work. Especially if BM is the CP. We even had to have BM write a letter stating that we had permission to take them out of state, permission to sign for ER treat(if needed) and BM even included my parents being able to if DH or I was not able to. Because my parents were also going on the trip with us.

purpledaisies's picture

The kids will be 13, 14, and 17 at the time. The reason I wanted to talk to the school is b/c I know bm will use school as her excuse so i thought I would talk to them and get their and let her know that school is ok with it and we already have their school work.

The CO says that each parents can have vacation times with said children. Something to that effect and it states that it is ok to take them out of state for vacations.

Totalybogus's picture

What I would do is send an email to BM and cc the kids. It will make it very hard for her to say no since they'll know and then it will make HER the bad guy if she does say no.

This is what we've started doing. My husbands kids are 13 and 16.

purpledaisies's picture

If we plan the trip at that time we won't be able to take it. We need to go during off season. With that many people it will be better.

purpledaisies's picture

BUt you know at the same time if it is said that we just shouldn't go why? I mean I know that if the boys don't get to go that is sad but why should we not go b/c bm won't let them go on her time? She can have some compaction and understanding. Just like we did when she wanted to take them to a concert on dh's time.

Shell97's picture

When we took our Disney trip, DH said that we were going even if BM wouldn't let SD14 & SD16 go. That it wasn't fair to BS13 if we didn't go, just because the girls couldn't. DH also told that to BM, that if BM didn't let the girls go, we were still taking BS13. BM didn't like it to well that DH would still go even if his girls couldn't go. So about 3 weeks before we were to leave, BM finally caved and let the girls go with us. BM's main reason for not really wanting to let the girls go was...BM wanted to be the 1st one to take them to Disney. I would use that on your BM. Tell her about the trip and how you & DH would love for the skids to go along. That you understand if she doesn't want to give up her time with them, but you& DH will still be going with or without them. May work, dunno?

purpledaisies's picture

Shell dh already said that he will go weather they go or not. He was the one that realized we should go in oct. and started thinking of ways to approach bm about it. He said that we shouldn't put our lives on hold b/c bm can't see beyond her one nose.

I don't know if he ever thought about telling bm that but I will mention it to him. It could work. And thank you for understanding the situation.

Shell97's picture

I totally understand. The BM I have dealt with for 12 years is so manipulating, deceiving, and conniving...she made our lives a living hell. But 2 years ago, we got custody of SD16 and BM has SD14, and since that happened the shoe is partially on the other foot. BM now realizes how lenient we have been in the past with her on everything she wanted and what it is like to NOT be able to take SD16 somewhere just because BM wants to. In the past, BM would always schedule her vacations with the skids on DH's time. Now BM has to schedule them on her time, just like we have to do if we want to take SD14 with us. Your BM needs to realize that your & DH's life is NOT gonna stop just because BM says NO. For the first couple years, DH & I wouldn't go on vacation without the skids (unless we weren't taking BS13 either). Until one year I made DH realize that we were letting BM control when & where we go in life and that I wasn't going to put up with it any longer. It is good that your DH already realizes this, took my DH a couple years to. Hopefully the "we're going even if skids can't" will work for ya like it did for us. Good Luck!

stormabruin's picture

Having had to deal with a BM who planned her vacations with skids having to pull them out of school & on DH's time every year, I'd suggest you make your plans on your time with them when they don't have to miss school.

If it costs more to go on your DH's time then it's your DH's responsibility to get the money together, or make other plans.

purpledaisies's picture

Storm I understand where you are coming from but after doing the #'s we feel this is the best time to go. This is what is best for our whole family and we should be able to make such choices for what is best for us and not what is best for just bm.

Dh knows this is my dream to to go to Disney and take the kids and he wants to make sure we have the money and time. Going at this time will allow us to save money and have a bigger place to stay instead of a little hotel room. Mainly b/c this is when this place is available to us.

But you know bm has scheduled lots of 'stuff' she wanted to do with the boys and just plain kept them form dh. Dh feels that she in a way owes dh this week.

I talked to him last night about it and he said he was planing on doing what Shell suggested. He is going to be very nice about it and have his homework done before talking to her. He is going to simply tell her. "Hey we are going to dinsey at this time and would really love for the boys to go. I know it is on your time but this is the only time we were able to get this together and we already have their school work so you don't have to worry about that. So we would like to to know asap so we know if we need to order their tixs." He is said he is going to keep it going in that direction b/c he really wants them to go.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

I'd ask her and give her a deadline as to when you need to know by. If she never responds ask the skids. Have them ask mom if she's going to let them go to Disney or not. Let her disappoint them if she disagrees.

purpledaisies's picture

good Idea Tx maybe something like this, Hey we need to know by this date in order to get their tixs at the same price before it goes up." That could work.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Yep. And if time passes ask the skids 'hey has your mom mentioned Disney yet? We need to know by (date) if she is going to let you come so we can buy tickets'. You know they'll start bugging her after that!

purpledaisies's picture

Yes I will talk to the boys as well. They are old enough that they understand what is going on. Thanks so much everyone.