I like him most of the time...
So I'm an educator--I love kids. When I met my DH's son, I liked him too. Recently I have come to the conclusion that I have a problem that my DH has a son with another woman. I often tell my DH that his son is rude--giving me the blank stare when I try to engage him in conversation. Every other weekend my home includes 3 of us instead of 2. People tell us, spend time together before you have children, but guess what folks, we already have a kid! I mourn the fact that I don't have the traditional newlywed experience. Instead, a week after the honeymoon, we had the kid at our house. Our first New Year's Eve was spent with, you guessed it.
What burns me up the most is how my life has to change to include what is best for the kid. I moved from a metro area I loved to be closer so my DH could still maintain his weekend visits with the kid. Reading this makes me think, "gee, what did I turn into, the mean old stepmother?"
But this blended family thing is hard and I don't like sharing my new DH with his son.
Most important, I hate that another woman has control of my DH's time and that she is in our pocket. What to do? Will this ever get better? We're seeing a counselor to help us through this transition. I know it is important to my DH and my SS spend time together...my DH is a great dad and I do respect that. However, I do think I got the short straw. I know my DH feels in the middle, but I feel that I'm at the bottom. I feel like SS, the baby mama and then there is me--that's how we rank in importance.
Looking for advice...please share.
- Danimoni's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
All I can say is I have been
All I can say is I have been there - new SM about 9 years ago. I thougth it would get better and it did with my SD who is now married and has a life of her own. My SS21 is a different issue since there are drug and mental health issues which keeps the crazy BM involved. But I decided I was done with SS21 and I will never have a relationship with him again.
Best I can say is keep the bar low, dont get too involved and trust you DH to deal with the craziness.
I understand your feelings
I understand your feelings completely. My DH has 2 children with 2 different women. Needless to say my life is not how I pictured it. My fairytale life has turned in to running around to pick up his kids and take them here and there. I recently told DH that I am not a babysitter and his daughters BM can kiss my ass and pick up her own kid to take her to dance class. Sometimes u have to distance yourself to keep sane. It will get better, just give yourself time to adjust and let your husband know what your feeling. Even if things don't change at least you will know that you tried and that should give you some piece of mind.