HELP!!! What do I do???
I cannot stand my step daughter and it’s not even her fault. She comes from a totally a-moral, trash family, which is unfortunate, however, she's a mini version! She is an unruly, manipulative, defiant brat! I know that sounds terrible, but it's the truth. I greatly dislike being in her company that’s how horrible she is. For me, the worst part is my in-laws overlook the terrible behavior and just laugh at everything she does rather than teach her that what she's doing is wrong. She had clear developmental delays and no one is taking the initiative to help this child and prepare her for when she is enrolled in school, where she should really be now, in order to help her not even compete but at the very least be able to stay in line with children her age. It’s so sad that the adults “raising” this child, monkeys could do a better job, are the sole cause of her poor behavior. While moving into my new home I pulled up and her comes my 2.6 yr. old step daughter flying across the parking lot like a bat out of hell!!! Had I left 5 seconds before, she would have undoubtedly ended up underneath my car. The child is laughing hysterically as she’s flying towards the lot and then I see my mother-in-law running behind her laughing as well. My mother-in-law picked her up laughing and giving her raspberries, hmmm… WHAT THE IS GOING ON?! Come to find out 6mths earlier, dyfus was called because one of their neighbors had seen the child roaming around the street unaccompanied by an adult and took her inside and called the police…WOW. This child is headed for a horrible life, considering no one is taking the time to instill any sort of teachings. I refuse to have a child of my own because I don’t want them exposed to this situation or what will inevitably be a complete nightmare of a child…my step daughter. My in-laws think the child is theirs and although my husband and I live 2 hrs away, at times will force him to drive down there after he gets out of work at 7 to pick the child up, drop it off at their house and then leave and drive home. As sad as it sounds, he doesn’t want to be involved and was only introduced to the child for the first time a year ago, so has only known this child for about a year, not even. If I knew this was the whole story I would have thought long and hard before saying “I do”!!!
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When I first got together
When I first got together with my BF I encountered a similar situation. Not with the extended family as much. It was more so with my BF. Both of his kids were completely out of control. Example, his BS(3) called his preschool teacher a bastard. My BF was not consistent with his punishments and felt guilty for actually punishing them.
What I did was I sat my BF down and told him that something needs to be done. I explained the consequences of what happens with children without boundaries when they became adults. I also explained to him that I will not live like that.
From there we wrote out a list of rules for most of the issues we were dealing with and appropriate punishments for the rule being broken. Example, if something nasty is going to come out of your mouth then something nasty is going back in it (vinegar). And then it just boiled down to consistancy. That's the hard part when it comes to dealing with most Daddys.
Things have gotten better. You may not notice it. But I have had people comment on how much improvment they see.
Boundaries are healthy and neccesary for kids. I think that both of you need to present a united front for your SD. I used to dislike both of my BF's bio kids. Those feelings are slowly going away now. Sometimes it just takes a little hardwork and a lot patients.
That's a great point and I've
That's a great point and I've explained that to my husband and although he seemed to agree, nothing was really done. Do I just let it be since we don't see her at this point or try and implement a schedule and behavior system then see to it that it's set in place?
I guess, but the child had to
I guess, but the child had to run out of our home, and down 2 flights of stairs! This kind of stuff seems to happen a lot. My way of dealing with it is to ignore it. I don't really feel it's my place to give my input, you know? It's really difficult for me though.