UPDATE - A Christmas gift for BM
DH and I got into it last night over procurement of xyz gift for BM.
He brought it up and I painted him the following picture...
As in - your current wife has spent the last couple of weeks:
1. Trying to track down xyz gift with you;
2. Locating said gift on the internet, only to have you nix ording because of timing with regards to shipping;
3. Listening to you plan how you are going to go out of your way on a business trip to procure said gift FOR YOUR EX-WIFE.
4. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm done with it.
DH just looked at me in shock - finally the lightbulb went on and he got it.
~BettyRay
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I have to ask. Why a gift for
I have to ask.
Why a gift for the ex?
It's the gift the boys want
It's the gift the boys want to give BM for Christmas. For some reason this year DH is making a huge deal about making sure the boys have this gift to give BM.
We've been together for 6 years and in the past DH takes SSons shopping for Christmas presents for BM and makes sure they give it to her. This year it's like he's obsessing over it. Just really odd.
I blogged about it yesterday - here's the link:
http://www.steptalk.org/node/37069
~BettyRay
Me too! My DH and SD12 were
Me too! My DH and SD12 were on the internet looking for a very expensive purse that SD12 wanted to get BM for Christmas. It was around $60. I knew that SD12 only had about $30. So I said something to DH about it, even though "his money is his money and my money is my money". (We have separate accounts.) I told him he'd better not be getting BM anything for Christmas! He said SD was going to pay him back with chores. BULLSHIT!!! She hasn't done a damn chore in her whole life and probably never will!
I don't care if we don't "share money", he doesn't need to be buying BM a thing! It's the principle! Not the money.
I am with you Tanner! If my
I am with you Tanner! If my Bf spend one moment even contemplating a gift to BM from kids or anyone...He would be spending this Christmas and many more to come without me!
PPL need to realize when it is over it is OVER. Don't care about "for the sake of the kids " yada yada yada...if it is that important then they should have stayed together
Whateva
Hmmph. Does seem like a lot
Hmmph. Does seem like a lot of effort. I can also understand that I don't really like to "shop" for gifts so maybe the "obsession" has more to do with not having to shop since we already know what the little buddy wants to get his mom.
IF it were me?
I bow out of nonsense... and I would react with the following..
"I love you, and I understand that you want to help SS13. I think it's a little bit ridiculous to jump thru this many hoops, I don't know that I've seen you so focused on something that I thought was merely a kind gesture. I'll go buy her a Walmart candle... otherwise you're on your own, Buddy."
Then I'd go shopping and buy myself something absolutely lovely for Christmas, have it professionally wrapped and call him to let him know what he got for me.
I went this route earlier in
I went this route earlier in the week and DH wasn't receptive. I told him that I felt that we had done our due diligence looking for the gift. I suggested he take the boys Christmas shopping for BM and explain to them that the gift they want isn’t readily available and to choose another…but DH wasn’t/isn't ready to give up the hunt.
~BettyRay
Wow. I don't have much of a
:jawdrop: Wow. I don't have much of a comment. Other than it is really nice of you and he to make sure they have a gift to give their mother.
We tried giving BM a gift the first year we got married.... and she thanked us with filing a bogus custody case and bogus abuse charges against me.
So not going there ever again. However it would be nice to allow SD to pick out a gift for BM. But she can be evil from most of the time.
Glad it works out in your guys' situation. Although i would not stress out about it.
i'm so happy that my dh would
i'm so happy that my dh would never dream of getting anything NOT court ordered for bm ~ from skids or not.
if this were happening in my home i would be spitting bullets! good for you for handling it so well!
I would have told me dh what
I would have told me dh what was what if he ever thought about getting bm a gift! I don;t have to worry as dh would never dream of doing it. We don;t have the money to spare on her lazy butt! I would have told my dh that we don't have the extra money and that I will spend that money on one of the kids before I would her. You are better then me b/c I would have made sure that didn't go any further than him thinking it!
I know it's easier to say no
I know it's easier to say no to getting BM a gift but it's important to the boys and that's why DH does it. I respect DH for that.
On the flip side - I don't want to hear about or have to shop for it. Not my kids,not my problem.
~BettyRay
Why is your dh's
Why is your dh's responsibility to buy a gift for their mom? I mean really they are not together. That should lie on her dh or someone else that can take them shopping. I will never understand why it is the father's responsibility if they are not together.
I want to know WHAT the XYZ
I want to know WHAT the XYZ gift was!!
Being naive, the skids were
Being naive, the skids were little and I bought a Yankee candle named HOME SWEET HOME for her from the skids....because it was my favorite scent.
BM was livid! I can only imagine her opening it and breaking it into a thousand pieces.
No matter your intention....BM will skew it or fuck it up somehow!
Needless to say, we don't buy gifts for BM anymore.