Since when have we gotten to the point
That we are trying not to be the bad guy?? Really when it come to raising kids we will always be the bad guy till they are grown. If i wasn't the bad guy and always try to make my kids happy and let them do what they want then I failed as a parent. I tell my kids and my skids all the time when they say your mean or something to that effect I tell them good than I'm doing my job right. I shut their door and move on with life! I don't care if they think I'm the bad guy or I'm being mean i wouldn't be any kind of parent if I didn't do those "mean" things!
I guess I don't understand why we have this mentality that we HAVE to make our kids the #1 priority or to make them happy or anything like that. They are kids that we should be raising to be the best adults we can raise them to be! Part of that is to teach them that they should NOT expect others to make them happy or to give them the world and not work for it!
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AGREE TOTALLY. I am not your
AGREE TOTALLY. I am not your friend, I am your parent. Hope we can be friends when you are 25+, but until then, I will be your parent. I will discipline and I will guide. I have lots of friends. My job as your parent is to raise you to be a constructive, responsible hard-working, God-fearing, member of society
It seems to have happened
It seems to have happened around the same time so many people decided to give up all personal responsibility. It's the school's fault, the government's fault, the bank's fault, etc. It's sickening. As my Grandma would say, "We're going to hell in a hand basket."
When I was growing up "or
When I was growing up "or else" meant life was going to be really miserable really fast!! We didn't do things out of fear of what would happen. We all turned out OK. Now, they pump it into kids heads that your parents have to do whatever the little brats want "or else" they have a right to call the cops or CPS. A few of my friend's kids were given business cards with 911 and a list of reasons for calling the cops on your parents.
I have a friend, who is a cop, he would like burn all those damn cards. He was sent out once for a minor child in distress....he said he walked into a war zone. The mother was crying, the kid (he was
was cursing her out and throwing things at her...they kid called to cops because his mother was abusing him by making him do his homework. He said how the mother didn't beat the crap out of this kid was beyond him because he wanted to beat the crap out of the brat. He told the monster to sit down, shut up and do his homework. The kid said to him "How dare you talk to me like that, my mother can't even do that!" The brat called the cops again....on the cop!!!! Hid co-worker came out. Then they called the supervisor out. They wanted to taser the kid. He was also sent out on a minor child being abused, this was a 13yo girl...her parent'f offense was not allowing her to have a TV in her bedroom. He said, none of the officers in his department have ever been called out for a true child abuse issue, the kids that are really getting beat up are too afraid to call. ....only the spoiled brats call. He also said, it pisses all of them off that there are never any false report charges file...Social Services are afraid it would scare the kids. Kids have no fear...they are untouchable....it just out of control.
Yes i wonder how things have
Yes i wonder how things have goten to htis point. Parents need to step up and parent. I have 2 adult ss and an adult daughter. We made our mistakes along the way but set rules etc. You nned an even balance and now alot of parents just want to give in. How sad it is such a me world.
Yes!! I agree. How do I get
Yes!! I agree. How do I get BM to see this? She is always always telling us we need to put SD first in every aspect of our lives. We should be going without to make sure SD has everything she needs. Really? It's no wonder the kid thinks the world revolves around her and butts into adult conversations ad nauseum!! And god forbid we ask the poor thing to do some work around the house! Oh the horror!! She has to clean up after herself! We might as well put shackles on her ankles because we treat her like a slave!!! ALL I know is if I talked to my mom the way SD backtalks to her Dad I wouldnt have had any teeth left!
Don't think for a moment that
Don't think for a moment that this is a step child/family thing only. I know plenty of kids from original families who believe that they are the centre of the universe and that the world owes them a living. I have friends who will stop mid sentence in a conversation with me because little darling has run up and interrupted with "Mum I, I, I..". Hardly ever do they tell their children not to interrupt, to wait for a break in the conversation or to say 'Excuse me for interrupting'. It's never for anything that can't wait either. My SD tried this for a while with DH and he was stopping to give her the attention she sought but DH and I discussed it and he is now very conscious of not stopping talking to me and just says 'You are interrupting. Wait til we have finished speaking'. It's not just that it is disrespectful and it is plain bad manners.
You are so right in saying that our job is to 'parent' our kids both BK and SK's. That means setting boundaries and sticking to them. Your kids might 'hate' you for it, but they will respect you and without respect you have not only lost the battle, you have lost the war.
Maybe this is a bit off
Maybe this is a bit off topic, but on the weekend I mentioned to FDH that I don't feel we have to repeat our entire conversation to either of the SDs.
We will be sitting talking, and something we say will intrigue one or both of them. They ask, whatcha talking about? FDH will repeat the whole conversation ad nauseum. I would have just said something like "nothing that would interest you".
So, he didn't take it too well when I mentioned it, called me petty.
But I said, how do you feel when you're having a converstion in a group at school or work and other people walk up in the middle of it and want a blow by blow description of everything you're talking about. Drives you nuts right? I said - is that how you want your kids to grow up? - feeling they can bust in on every converstion they hear and demand to know what was said, by whom etc. He really didn't have anything to say after that.
I'm sure our conversation still won't change anything though.....
I totally agree. I think
I totally agree. I think there is a line between happy kids and spoiled/entitled kids that a lot of parents choose to ignore. I knew that there were times where I thought my mother was being "rediculous" or "too harsh" but one thing I have always and will always do is respect her. It's sad that that's lacking so much in families these days.
Yes that is it!! I remember
Yes that is it!! I remember being in my room crying my eyes out b/c I was grounded and thought how mean my parents were. Now I get it! I have and always will respect them. The thing that parents need to remember is that when their kids WILL remember and "get it" when they get older.