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Should I wait up?

Want to be a better SM's picture

Submitted by Want to be a be... on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 9:41pm

My DH found some items in my 14 y/o SD's room that are very damaging. She was out with friends and he called her home. She swore they were not her's and that she was just going to throw them out. He told her to stay in...

She promptly called her BM and told her the situation and how no one believed her etc. My DH told her to stay in, but after the call she went out.

My DH went to bed (he never waits up for his kids). I feel that maybe she is acting out because no one is here waiting for her when she gets home and other various ways my DH is very laid back. I feel like I should wait up to show her I am here. Or, will I make it worse?

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GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 11:07pm

I would definately be waiting up for a 14 year old, for sure, and I would be curious as to why, if it isn't hers it is in her possession and if she was planning to throw it out why she hasn't already...

I used to be a teenager, so the whole "it's not mine" crap is a familiar song.

MARLA_823's picture

Submitted by MARLA_823 on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 11:30pm

I agree! The oldest excuse ever! I would guarantee it was hers and she has it because daddy doesn't keep a close enough watch over her. I'm very sorry for you, I think you're in for a rough time these next few years if he can't learn to toughen up.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 4:09am

If they items are not hers why does she have them??? :?

We got that kind of crap from our son (my SS), we all gave that kind of crap to our own parents.

If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck and smells like a duck .... it is a duck. So, though a very remote possiblity, it is your SDs stuff, whatever it might be.

As for waiting up, nope. I would call the police and let them find her. When they call to have someone pick her up, let them keep her over night.

IMHO of course.

Good luck and best regards,

wriggsy's picture

Submitted by wriggsy on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 6:13am

Why should you have had to wait up? Wake up hubby and let him go sit on the couch and wait for his child. If it's something that happens often, call the cops and let them know that your stepchild just ran away....

Stpma's picture

Submitted by Stpma on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 7:28am

you should read john rosemonds, teen proofing. It might give you guys some ideas... Smile

VAStepMom's picture

Submitted by VAStepMom on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 8:18am

Wow... well I have been there. Here is my take:

1). Your DH is disconnected. He needs lessons in parenting.
2). DO NOT wait up for his daughter. Go to bed.
3). Daughter obviously has no discipline, no boundaries and no repercussions.
4). Have a talk with DH. Set some rules. He MUST be involved and parent his child.
5). Set up counseling session for YOU AND DH. You need outside help getting on the same page.

Oh lord, girl. I entered my new marriage when my SD14 was only 12. I had the VERY SAME ISSUES. 5 years later.... we are still dealing with issues though my DH has come a long way... but it is a very very long hard road.

Good Luck.