Step Daughter Princesses and their BM Up to No Good...
It seems, ever since my DH, our kids, and I were compliant and attended my step son's wedding that my SK's BM also attended, that my DH's step daughter princesses keep making sure there are events where their BM is that they request for us to attend, and request at the last possible moment for us to show up. I'm getting a little sick of it to say the least. These darlings even brought their BM to a community event where I was working and the company I work for was sponsoring the event. Lucky me. In fact, my DH and I have come to the conclusion that the step daughter princesses along with their BM are trying to get their BM and their father back together again. Weird, uncomfortable circumstances. Mainly just annoying. Has anyone else had to deal with this bullshit from adult step children and a BM that has been out of the picture for 10 years now?
Comments
I have really dealt with
I have really dealt with this, but I will say that dh should never ever ever never say that he or both of you don't want to attend an event because stepmom doesn't want to!!! That's ludicrous!!! It should just be a simple NO and if they ask why, it should be a simple "we have plans already, wish you had told us sooner".
Isn't step daughter inviting
Isn't step daughter inviting both parents and their current spouses to an invite and if I am reading this correct, you are expecting her to choose whether to invite her mother or her father because of you? You are expecting her to choose between parents and you are telling HER to grow up? I don't understand. I've seen my own daughter go through this same thing and it is so sad and tears her up because her intentions are so taken out of context. You need to move past this anger and it seems that the ex has.
I would never expect my own steps to choose between me or their father and if I had a problem with the way I was treated, I would just stay home. Why would steps be treating you this way after 10 years anyway? They may resent the way you are making them chooose between parents.
I am a stepmother also. But,
I am a stepmother also. But, seeing the BM or BD does not stop when the kids are grown. After that, then come the holidays and grandchild births and grandchild birtdays and graduations and the list goes on and on. I never thought I would see my ex as much as I do now. At first it was uncomfortable, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from going to an event I wanted to and some of the current wives or girfriends the ex brought always thought I had some ill intention or getting back with or was overly friendly to him, etc. I promise you, this was not the case. I just wanted to act decent in front of the family. But I would never never put up with our kids mistreating whom ever the new wife or girlfriend was. Now don't get me wrong, it could have happend, if me or my ex had permitted it but we always made sure there were welcomed at these events. Parents do have influence over the way adult children treat new spouses.
I remember going to my curren't husband adult kids events and standing alone while the ex and her sisters and mother huddled in the corner laughing and I felt so awkward. So i quit going and sd called me and ask and i told her i felt uncomfortable and she assurred me I was welcome. I do continue to go and at times I still feel awkward, but it gets better.
I gone through years of this stuff, don't claim to know everything. But if I had it to do over again, I would do some things differently.
The main thing I learned that is the new wife or girlfriend is treated well by myself and the kids, the she is more than likely to treat them and that is all I want.
Good luck!
Thanks for the comments here.
Thanks for the comments here. Lots of good stuff.
I still don't know how to
I still don't know how to handle this. I'm just going to try to avoid events where SD's & SS want us to be together. BM is a crazy female dog from hell and in the past she has made my life a living hell. I've read lots of stories of what people go through on this site, yet only a few hold a candle to the crap this woman has put me through in the past. BM has decided to return after many years of claiming to have to move and leave the state due to her accusations that my DH abused her and that I threatened her, which was just the opposite. I gave that woman the benefit of the doubt and my husband never layed a hand on her, ever. I ended up raising her four children from the time they were in their preteen years up until the wedding this spring and now the SK's are all in their mid to late 20's. That woman has never let me down by showing her crazy, insane side on a regular basis. Now she is back in full force and I don't trust that crazy whacko bag at all. I don't want her around my children, either, but at these birthday parties, weddings, and events she gets to be around my kids. I don't want that freak around my kids at all! We made it through my SS's wedding, and that should have been good enough. Then there were the two birthday parties for my step-grandkids (whom she was never there for-she wasn't there for their births, babysitting, earlier birthday parties that I was expected to put on, babyshowers that I was expected to put on, holidays that I was expected to host, graduations that I was expected to host and so on), but now she returns and I am expected to kiss her insane ass. It's not going to happen. We got out of one birthday party and the SD's tricked my husband into the other birthday party. Then the SD's went out of their way to bring her to the event I was working at. Positive proof those girls and their mother were having a field day at my expense and at my husband's expense. Oh, and trust me, BM hasn't moved past any anger issues or any issues at all, she is simply being her old evil self. After being divorced for over a decade when she comes to town she still spends a couple of days driving around town following my husband on his route truck while he makes deliveries. His boss hates it. Talk about weird, weird, weird!!! Does that strike anyone as "normal" behavior?