Does anyone else have a problem with BM scheduling activities all the time?
Why is it that every other weekend I have to find out about scheduled activities at the last minute. It makes me nuts and I can't stand it anymore. I dread every other weekend because of this. I can never make plans or just rest. I am pissed about it.
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Plans like what? I have one
Plans like what? I have one BM to deal with that likes to enroll her kids (only one of whom is my skid) in a bunch of stuff. I have SD4 week on/week off, it's 50/50 custody as far as the court is concerned, and her income and DH's are so close there is no child support. I also keep SD4 M-F on the week that is her BMs week because she works outside the home and I'm self employed.
Anyway, she used to try to enroll SD4 in a bunch of stuff, and after a couple of months of my schedule being really hairy, I told her to only enroll her in what she could pick her up and take her to on her week to have her, and only stuff that she wouldn't have to be taken to during our parenting time. The age ranges of the kids in my house is 12years down to 5 months, and we have 6 children total. We prefer to do activities as a family that the whole family can enjoy, not have every minute of every day planned to the gills by someone that doesn't know how my home operates.
That's worked pretty well in my house. Will your DH back you up if you tell her to pound salt with all that planning garbage?
The problem is that my 3 SDs
The problem is that my 3 SDs are enrolled in all kinds of school activities and I have never been able to get an accurate schedule of when and where they are supposed to be. I don't have to be responsible for taking and picking up unless I want to see DH. It feels like I am just supposed to drop everything and go to various events. But I work full time, have a child of my own and I just want to have one weekend with them when I am not having to cater to these events that I don't feel welcome at. They go to a private school that BM is very active in. She is always there and nobody will even speak to me or smile at me. I'm not really sure why she has a problem with me. She went to school there and I guess it is just uncomfortable or something. She is at every event even if it's not her weekend.
I think it's great that she's
I think it's great that she's involved, but in my opinion it's super petty of her to refuse to step off when it's DH and your parenting time. There's no need for that, and it just puts the kids in the middle of a crappy situation. I'm sorry to hear that.
I asked her a year ago not to
I asked her a year ago not to schedule so many things when we have the girls. It got worse. I'm pretty sure she chuckles every weekend. She has never had to work. Then she just shows up at the school at every event. It is actually associated with a church where she and DH were married. I just hate going there. I am at a point now where I just spend more and more time alone wondering if it will ever get better.
There is a good possibility
There is a good possibility she did do it out of spite. I recently made my all the kids a facebook. So I updated my profile and added them all as my kids, after all I have been raising these kids for 8 years. Since the boys accepted my family request on their own, it showed me as their parent. I could have just added my bio children but skids would have had thier feelings hurt, said so themselves. I even tried to be nice by showing them how to add their BM. However, she puts this long post on their wall how I am not their mother (which of course I do not claim to be, even though she basically abandoned them 11 years ago)and shes the one that loves them and thats all they need. I was aggravated of course and then to add fuel to the fire, she was talking to SS13 on IM and asking him if he saw her post,and how she had put it on the other brothers page, how did he like it, and she hoped I read it. I come home after my friend calls me to look at their walls and I open the chat that he forgot to close. The last message was her telling him to make sure he clicked clear chat. Ugg. I try to be understanding but a person can only take so much.
I hope you also hit, print
I hope you also hit, print and save to file. That is clearly an attempt in making this child choose sides or something! Crazy bm!!!
OK here's what I really
OK here's what I really think. She does it on purpose because she knows it's a pain in my ass. She knows all of her circle of friends will make me uncomfortable. She likes to be in control and it's just another way of doing that! I just wish I could put her in her place without the kids knowing about it. I wish all of her snobby and rude friends could see what hypocrites they are for sending thier kids to a "Christian" school and yet acting like such idiots just for the sake of it. One day maybe I will figure out how. For now I guess I just have to endure this.
Give me a break. She hangs
Give me a break. She hangs out at this school like she still attends. It's ridiculous. She goes to the school events even when her kids aren't there. She actually got called into the pricipals office last year for hanging out in the office so much that the employees couldn't get work done. For real! Called into the principal's office. I know it sounds made up but it is the truth. What is the deal with this woman?
OK maybe I am having a
OK maybe I am having a conversation with myself but somehow I am getting a little bit of satisfaction out of. That woman is a nut job. She needs to get a job or a hobby or something. She has way to much time on her hands. Plus... she has only ever cooked a few handful of meals. The 14 year old had no idea that food and pans that come out of an oven would be hot. It took me a few minutes to figure that one out but I finally realized that she thought all ovens were microwave ovens. All 3 girls can recite every fast food menu from every fast food restaurant in town. No joke. They had never dyed Easter eggs, never carved a jack o lantern, and never decorated a Christmas tree until I met them. How is that even possible. Keep in mind that they do go to a Christian School. How? How is that even possible?
I wish I could tell you it's
I wish I could tell you it's about the pagan thing but unfortunaltely I think it's because she doesn't know how to boil water. Trust me, she has no issues with stuff like that. You should see what she lets the girls put on facebook.
yeah, When I showed DH his 7
yeah, When I showed DH his 7 year old shaking her butt on it, he had he BM get rid of the accounts. But who knows what goes on over at the other house. I can't keep up with it. But anyway, she isn't worried about the intricate religous implications of dying a damn egg. She is just lazy or the eternal kid who was waiting for some grownup to get the vinegar and dye and stuff.
It was to some rap song or
It was to some rap song or something. I couldn't believe it. I think BM thought it was cute without realizing any perv could look at it. We had a cow. Now that image is probably still somewhere in cyberspace for all of eternity.
Yep, I'm in the same boat. DH
Yep, I'm in the same boat. DH does most of the driving/picking up, but it still interferes with my down time with DH and just being at home. I don't mind the birthday party or activity here and there, but it seems like BMs life goal is to make them as social as possible. Poor things are exhausted and grumpy by the time we get them.
I know. It's crazy. And the
I know. It's crazy. And the thing about it is... is that anything I say about it is seen as sour grapes or something. I am soooo sick of it. I don't know. Maybe at this point I don have sour grapes. I'm not really sure anymore. Sometimes I'm not really sure what point I am trying to make or even if I have a point. Have I lost it?
I am just so frustrated! Ugh!
I am just so frustrated! Ugh!
My DH is the same way - he is
My DH is the same way - he is not comfortable going to the events and i've never gotten an invite to go. DH refuses to go to events because we did go to a couple of SDs events and she acted like a b*tch. She was so unappreciative of the people who came to support her (and not just us - her BM, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.) and i was just disgusted that she didn't even acknowledge us, so that was the end of that.
The only people at my house I
The only people at my house I like anymore are my dogs and they aren't even people. They just have the best manners and smell better. Plus they are respectful and make me feel like I belong.
If more people had the
If more people had the impeccable manners my dogs have, I'd have more close friends, I guess, but frankly I really don't care for most people. I realize that makes me sound like a jerk, but ya know, I look around and notice that people do things to one another that are just plain horrible, and I don't really have room in my life for that.
We're all full up on crazy around here as it is. lol.
Ditto on this post! I tell
Ditto on this post! I tell stepdaughters all the time dogs are better behaved than you two! I also tell them that dogs would never talk back! They don't seem to get that one, but that's my point. Keeping them guessing!
Yes, I have an issue with bm making plans, or getting girls excited about an event without even talking to dh about it. She then claims that if we dint allow them to go she can't do anything about it because it's daddys weekend and she doesn't make the schedule. Though she somehow forgets to mention she could switch with us so they could attend her stupid family events!!! It's a game! The losing team are the kids. Who get pissed because we don't take them, blame us for their unhappiness and bm takes no responsibility for jack shit!
LMAO
LMAO
I don't understand it because
I don't understand it because I go out of my way to make sure I don't interfere or cause problems with my ex and his S/O. I even back her up if my kids are mad at her. Why are some people so controlling?
Geez. That IS nutty. Thank
Geez. That IS nutty. Thank God you told me. I thought I had been thrust into some sort of parallel universe or something. That makes me laugh though I know it's not funny to you. Did they ever land in the pricipal's office like my ex-wife (that's what I call her cuz I feel like she is my burden)
OMG I just read it again and
OMG I just read it again and it's even funnier the second and third time around. I am about to pee myself. Especially when you talk about explaining the meaning of neurotic.
I feel your pain. SD15's mom
I feel your pain. SD15's mom used to put SD in activities without consulting DH and then on his weekend, we were told where she had to be at what time and for how long. It still pisses me off to think we allowed that dumb b*tch to dictate our weekends. It finally came to a head where DH told BM that if she wanted to put SD in activities, that was fine, but there was no guarantee that he would be able get her there on his weekends because of our plans that weren't taken into consideration.
SS8's mom is starting to do the same thing. He told her the same thing about scheduling activities during his time with his son so we'll see.
Critics will say that you're only hurting the kid, but what's more important? Time with their dad or sports? FYI - the court will always say the dad.
We are in the same boat. She
We are in the same boat. She was told not to schedule anything on my time with my kids. I choose not to bring them to anything. That is my time . I should be able to do what I want on my time with my kids,right ?
DON'T DO IT!!! First, let it
DON'T DO IT!!! First, let it be dh's problem. Let him pickup, dropoff, take them or whatever. You make your plans and do what you need to do. His kid, his responsibility. That's how I see it. Second, bm can put them in whatever she wants but if it is dh's weekend, it is HIS weekend. If he can't take them or doesn't want them to go to whatever is 'planned' then he doesn't have to! Of course, if it is school related, that is different. If bm put them in activities without consulting dh and letting him have a say then sorry. It is his weekend and right to not take them. If bm did contact and let dh know these schedules and he just isn't relaying the info to you then HE needs to take care if it all. Stop dropping everything for his kids if he's not doing his part. I just think this shouldn't be your problem at all. Also be careful as sports and extra-curriculars can also be a tool for pas. Bm's enroll them to keep hem busy hoping that the kids will miss visits with their dads. Our bm does this. Our attorney told dh and bm in mediation that dh's weekends were his. He does NOT have to get ss to other activities that fall on his time.