Stepdad overstepping now...
Well DH just called from the open house for SS12. He said that BM brought new SD. Apparently everyone is not working today in that house. I said that he should tell her that that is not appropriate. I asked if he wanted me to go over there. He said he thought of that, but didn't want to play her games.
I don't feel it is my place. Maybe I am wrong...I think she is afraid of DH now. I just this court case over so that we can move along with our lives. SS12 likes our house and things are fine with him. We gave up SD14 and things are good in the house now. Why does this woman have to continue, pulling all the strings. She couldn't just let DH do this with her? He has no role in the kids life. He is the reason, we are spending all this money with lawyers. If he could have parented his own children and not get them both expelled for drinking and fighting, we would not have had to spend all this money to ensure that his kids are not bad influences on DH's kids.
Now I wonder if because I am not there, I look like the worse parent here. Unreal how that played out. My kid is the straight a student and his can't even be on HS property.
Should I have gone? This is nuts, my BS15 doesn't even want me at his tomorrow.
- Jsmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You do not know when to quit.
You do not know when to quit. She had him there in case of something with DH, I am sure. She caused such drama earlier this month over SS12 and pick ups. I am sure she is afraid that one of these days she is going to push my husband over the edge. She was married to him for many years and should know his breaking point.
FYI - I will always tell him what I think, when it comes to that woman. That is who I am and I don't think there are many wives that sit back and don't give their opinion on something like this. I don't give a lot of opionions that I would like to give on the kids, but I will on that witch.
Good news is the SDad (would
Good news is the SDad (would like to use other noun here) stayed in the car. She probably only brought him in case I came. I disagree, I don't feel that Stepparents should be at these things. If there are not two parents involved, then fine. But, in this case their is a mom and a dad. Don't need steps involved in the mix.
That is great if you are
That is great if you are embraced by the BM as someone involved in her kids lives. Unfortunately, most of us don't have that. Given our scenario and most of us steps on this site, it is best if steps are not involved in something like this.
He did not get his panties in a wad. Geez what a saying?? You couldn't find a better way??? He wanted me to know my thoughts. I gave it to him. She is afraid of him, given her behavior the last month.
Why is BM afraid of your DH?
Why is BM afraid of your DH? I have not been following your story that closely so sorry if this should be obvious or I missed it somewhere.
Long ugly story. Quick
Long ugly story. Quick version - she initiate SD14 to live solely with her. Husband learned from lawyer we can't win so he gave her up. Now she is suing us for CS (never had it). She makes over 120K a year. Our lawyers say she is only entitled to $97.00. She wants more. Had the kids lie to the father about many things that put the kids in jeopardy. Her SD15 expelled for being passed out drunk at the HS. That was the start of the lying. She is in violation of the CO on several things, including breaking the first right of refusal. She tried to get SS12 early from a pick up which she never does a few weeks ago and when I refused to wake him up since I didn't know she was coming, she threatened to call the police. Which actually would have been good, since technically DH would have had him, since she was working 12 hours that day. Many lies many instances of trying to keep things from DH. SD14 was a pain but we were working with her and her mom, kept telling her she could live there and paid for the lawyers for her and it has snowballed. Costing us so far 7K to give up the child. Nuts. Right now it is in our lawyers hands to come up with the response to hers for the custody and CS.
I go to open houses for the
I go to open houses for the skids, but that's because DH is CP and I'm very involved in their schooling. BM goes too, it's not the most comfortable of scenarios, but I mostly hang out in the background and just briefly introduce myself to the teachers while she plays her two minute role of MOTY. They realize who they need to call when it's my face they see throughout the year instead of BM's.
"but I mostly hang out in the
"but I mostly hang out in the background and just briefly introduce myself to the teachers while she plays her two minute role of MOTY. "
LMAO! That sounds like our BM. She may only see SS EOWE but somehow, she has to bend the teacher's ear about her "learning disabilities" and her past career in social work. Nothing to really add about SS. I've gone to open houses but only because my DD11 was a grade above SS10. She's moving onto 6th grade this fall so for the first time, they will be in different schools.
That is awful. The problem
That is awful. The problem with our situation is their are too many parents that don't know how to work with each other. I just want the CO modification over so we can move on and then maybe DH and BM can figure out a way to parent SS12 since SD14 is probably lost to us.
If the skids want stepparents
If the skids want stepparents there we should be there! Afterall aren't we here for their best interest?!?! I wouldn't worry too much about you not being there, you can just ignore it or if they bring it up say you wanted to be there but wasn't sure if that was appropriate. If they say they want there then be there next time. Don't stress over it, it's not that big of a deal.
I know I didn't want to go.
I know I didn't want to go. It is not my child. I love SS12 but I do not help with his homework. If he wants me to do some volunteering I would be happy to. But, he has to ask. SD14 did a few years ago and I did. Her mom never does. But, I volunteer for my son and several other charities and that takes up most of my time. I don't need to seek out more places to volunteer. To me that is really all the open house is about. That and write the checks for the countless things they need. Since I don't help with homework, why go?
He has a Dad and a Mom. She may not be active, but she is good for appearances. I guarantee they won't see her again unless the grades drop and DH gets involved. She will go so she looks involved. Her problem is she doesn't get involved until there is a problem. Not proactive at all.
I think it is great if it
I think it is great if it works for you. Unfortunately, it won't here until everything is settled. We were fine 3 years ago at the open house. But, with all the PAS that BM has done with SD14, it is very awkward and DH and I are angry.
If a kid has 4 people that love him that is great. But, unfortunately those 4 have to be able to work together and right now we don't have that. I wish to hell we did.
I also think SPs should help
I also think SPs should help in any capacity that they feel comfortable. I know many disengage, and those who do, should not feel compelled, if not comfortable. I want to be there for my SDs even if they don't care to have a relationship with me. I'm still concerned about their health and welfare. Am I a push over for wanting to help them? I really don't care. People are going to judge me no matter what I say or do. I'm going to do what I feel is right. It's just my nature.