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$267 Cell Phone Bill, and Other Things (LONG)

Pantera's picture

I cried on the way home from work. I needed to and it felt good. I composed myself and got out of the car and walked up to the door. DH was on the poarch, I just to cry again, so I rushed into the house, laid on the bed and let go. Gosh it felt so good. Anyway, DH came in and said he wanted to talk. He wants to know why I am so upset and why I worry what is going to happen since we aren't together. I told him that I love him and that Im hurting. He went on to say that he called BM and told her to tell her mother to leave his wife alone. BM kept saying that she can't control her mother and DH told her that was bullshit and tell her to leave me alone. DH also went on to tell BM that they were never getting back together and he wasn't sure what games she is playing but they aren't going to work. BM said she knows and that she didn't intend on getting back with him. Then DH told her that we were having problems because of SS10 and she asked why and he told her about the spitting in the brush incident. DH said she FREAKED out, she was livid and genuinely pissed. He said that BM said "wait until I get a hold of him, why didn't anyone tell me?" and she said a bunch of other stuff too. I asked DH if he told her about the razoring the walls or the book of control or writing about shooting someone. He said no, and I suggested he should. The main reason the brush incident was brought up was because...WAIT FOR IT...SS10 had DH's work cell phone in his room as an alarm clock (because goodness forbid you just buy the kid an alarm clock), DH was called into his boss' office this morning because his work cell phone bill was $267 for the last month. Why you ask? Because SS10 decided to download $267 worth of PORN on DH's work cell on the internet. NICE. And not the Cinemax kind of porn. Dominatrix, gross porn. So when DH tells BM about it she says "I don't want to hear anymore, I don't want him to grow up disrespecting and hating women". Thats when I got brought up, DH told her that SS is horrible to me. Can you believe that? DH punished SS10 and asked my opinion and I said I wasn't saying anything. DH looked me in the eye and said "its too little to late isn't it?". I didn't respond and he went to bed. This really sucks. SS just really wants me out. I gotta stop thinking. This all is really driving me crazy. I can't even function right now I am so stressed and tired.

Comments

Pantera's picture

He didn't at first, he tried to blame his friends, but then he finally admitted it when he realized he was in even more trouble for lying. ALL of the downloads were right after his bed time.

stepoff's picture

Pantera, I have to say it. I really, really think you should/could work on your relationship with your DH. He seems to be more than willing to straighten things out ... FINALLY! So he set BM straight, he is having BM tell her mother to leave you alone, and he seems ready to work with SS on his issues. Do you think maybe there's a chance? Because I know that you still love him. I would hate to see anyone divorce/separate while there's still love in the air, just because of a disturbed 10 year old boy. Don't do something you'll regret. Have DH get SS some SERIOUS therapy. I'm not talking about some shoddy, 'let's talk' kind of counselor, but real therapy. Maybe he needs a psychiatrist? Someone who specializes in destructive behavior. JMO.

Pantera's picture

Stepoff, thanks for reading, I do appreciate your comments. I have tried to get DH to get SS10 some serious therapy and he refuses. I would be trying my butt off if SS was getting therapy. And in all honesty at this point, I think ALL of us need therapy...individual, couple, and family. DH views it all as a waste of time. I don't think I can get past all of it. I seriously feel I am losing my mind.

anabihibik's picture

What do you want to do? I searched out your other blogs from the last couple of days. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But, deep down, what do you want? It's ok to say you don't know right this second and you want to take a step back from the situation to figure it out. If it continues to make you physically ill, then I do think you should bail. I know that feeling and it sucks and is not worth it.

Pantera's picture

I want to leave. In my head I know its the right move, but in my heart I want to stay. I get excited and anxious to move out and have my freedom and peace of mind, then I get sad and anxious that I have to leave my house and my DH. I am so up and down, but I really think that leaving is the best thing for everyone. No one is happy.

anabihibik's picture

I think I felt similarly when I left the ex that cheated. I was miserable, but I was terrified of the change. Now, I like my own apartment. Smile Keep us posted.

forestfairy's picture

A 10 year old downloading PORN??? WTF? Something is wrong with that kid. 10 year olds should not even be thinking about porn yet. Maybe his parents will finally realize something is not right there.

Pantera's picture

WOW, lol. DH said that SS doesn't have a summer this year and that SS will work it off by doing chores all summer. Hopefully DH will follow through this time so SS will get the point.

Pantera's picture

I know, it happened before. When I left in September, DH bandaided the situation for a little bit, then it went back to "normal".

Hmmm's picture

Maybe, just maybe this can work? Is it possible that you, BM, and DH could have some kind of regular call, meeting, conference to talk about SS and his behavior? That is one angry, angry kid.

Pantera's picture

I think DH is in denial. I think he know's something is off and doesn't want to be told for sure. Its alot easier to blame other things.