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Why is this happining

Susmoe's picture

Submitted by Susmoe on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 7:24am

My H and I just found out that the BM is getting married to some guy she met 4 months ago that she met on line. This guy lives 400 miles away from BM and SK. BM told my H that's she is moving 400 miles away with the kids.

How is this possible. BM lied to the SK and didn't tell them that they won't see there father as much. But the SK want to move. BM lied to them and told them that their BF won't let them move and that they have to choice whom they want to live with.

Why is this happening. BM just met this guy the SK has only met him three times.

Comments

caya506's picture

Submitted by caya506 on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 8:30am

Does your DH have any court ordered visitation? If he does then BM CANNOT leave the state without petitioning the courts, a judge will have to decide if she can take them. If BM is serious about moving, I would sit down with the kids and explain to them (in a non-finger pointing way) that BM wants to move, and why DH doesn't want them to move, because he would get to see them less.

This very same thing happened to my brother. His ex met someone online, knew him for 5 months, got engaged and decided to move to 5 states away with him. At that time my brother had no court ordered visitation so he went to court to try and stop her from leaving. The Guardian Ad Litem originally told my brother that she was recommending that BM not be able to leave with his daughter, then flip flopped in court and said the exact opposite (she said it was because she had time to check the information BM had given her and saw that they had a daycare set up for her, an apartment in a nice family community, blah blah blah). Not one single person in HER entire family thought it was a good idea that she be let leave with this guy. She did, but you know what, she ended up moving back 3 months later!

I wish I could say the no judge in his right mind would let these kids leave with her because she wants to move in with some guy she just met, but it sometimes happens. Just explain it to the kids, if you think it's appropriate, and be ready to go to court over this if BM is really serious.

Susmoe's picture

Submitted by Susmoe on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:09am

No bur in the state we live in she has to notified H in a certified letter of her plans. And H can file an injunctions with the court. BM told the SK that H want SK to choice which parent they want. H called his kids and asked his BD if she wants to move (she's 10) she said yes. H told her that he won't be able to come to any school functions or softball games. SD started crying hysterical and the phone hung up. I text SD and told her that we just found this out where she knew about it for awhile. I told her that we are not asking for her to choice that she can live with her BM but we don't want her to move 400 miles away. After an hour texting back and forth I got her to calm down.y question is where her BM. Why wasn't she calming her daughter down.

The oldest SS 16 don't speak to his father at all. BM made sure of that she has PAS. My husband and I are both police officers. I or hopefully any judge will see our side. All BM is doing is putting herself first like she always has. The soon to be new husband doesn't even owe a home he lives with his sister. He fixes computers for a living. Well why don't he move here. Plus BM depends on her mother taking care of the SK. She don't even call us if she can't pick them up from school or take them to their games. She has her mother do it.

Thanks

HeatherM's picture

Submitted by HeatherM on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:25am

In my divorce papers..if I want to move anywhere with my child (out of the city) I have to have a written and signed consent form. Custody arrangements also have to be amended officially.

I feel bad for you and your DH, if she just met this guy...she likely know's nothing about him and not only will sk's be 400 miles away..but with a person that they don't even know.

stepmom31's picture

Submitted by stepmom31 on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:26am

Wow! Our BM has a long distance, on-line boyfriend too and I am so hoping that this does NOT happen. SKs have only met him once but she has them referring to him as their Future Father.

As to the why?
In my case, it seems as though BM wants to PROVE to everyone that she can get a man, especially since DH is happily remarried and has a new baby.

Susmoe's picture

Submitted by Susmoe on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:54am

Thanks we are filing for an injuction. We are trying to find a good lawyer right know. And she isn't think of the SK best intrest. We have a better stable life and marriage then she does.

Thank you everyone has been so helpful

most states do thing differently. Our state is always for the BM.