Lazy BM
This past weekend my H let his BD spend the night at her friend's house. SD caller her BM at 1 am because she couldn't sleep so BM picked her up. My H went over to BM house to pick up his BD at 11am. BM knew what time my H was picking BD up. SD came out in dirty sweat pants (remind u that's it was 90degrees already) with a dirty tshirt on with no shoes or socks plus SD hair wasn't brushed or her teeth. My H send BM a nasty text message but of course BM didn't reply back. So that pushed our plans back because SD had to get ready.
In addition we found out threw SK that the oldest 16 SS (which he is not allowed over because of his rudeness and smart ass mouth) has been stealing lil SK money and items. We askedthe SK if they told theiir BM they said yes but she doesn't do anything about it.
What's wrong with this. Anyone eles has this problem.
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Had very similar with my SS10
Had very similar with my SS10 - BM regularly sends him to us without sufficient, clean, appropriate clothing. The classic was in December, with snow on the ground, he was sent with one pair of shoes that had holes in them, no sweaters, a thin jacket and no gloves, hat, scarf etc. As we went away to visit family we ended up buying him new stuff because there really wasn't another option.
One question though - how old is your SD? If she's young, then this stuff is purely down to BM when she's there, but if she's older then some of it might be down to herself
SD is 10. BM was still
SD is 10. BM was still sleeping. At 11am. But BM knew what time BF was picking her up. But this shit happens all the time. That's why I buy clothing and keep it at our house. I don't want SD to look like shit when she's with us. I just understand that a mother would do that I could understand a man a little bit not a mother.
I made my H send BM an email in refernce to his BD who BM would send herto school the our house with no bra on. The SD boobs are bigger than my 18 yr niece. Know she send Her over with a training bra. Dirty BM but her boobs are huges.
I just don't understand if u can't take care of ur children why have children.
At 10, yes the BM should
At 10, yes the BM should still be at least supervising (we regularly have the 'go wash', 'go put a clean top on' conversations with SS10) BM still being asleep at 11am is not great either - I might cut a bit of slack as she got called at 1am, went out to collect SD and might have struggled to get back to sleep again, but if she knew the time your H was coming round she could have at least set an alarm for 10.30 to check that SD was up & dressed.
I don't know what to suggest really - it looks like generally you're coping by having clothes at yours, but if it's getting really bad all you could do is report her for neglect (and be ready for the fireworks!)
Thanks. But this is an
Thanks. But this is an ongoing thing with BM. Every weekend it's something new. I just keep my comments to myself or post it on this site. I treat my two dogs better than she treats her kids. I'm just happy the H is finally standing up to her. We can't call division of family services on her because my H and I are both police officers and the DFS contacts our Chief even though we don't do anything wrong. But the state were we live what BM does is no big deal to what we take kids out o the home for. I just beleive one of these days when the SK are older they will look back and see what a pos their BM was. And see all what H and I did for them.
I so know what you are going
I so know what you are going through. My 12 year old step daughter comes to our house plain out dirty. Her hair, a egg could be fried on! It discusts me and is embarrarsing and irritates me to know end especially if we have to go somewhere.
At 12 years old cleanliness needs to be stressed especially with girls...if you get my drift.
I think the BM babies her so much she probably washes her herself, but I dont baby her! And personally think she needs some lessons on how to take a bath!! It grosses me out!
Well maybe my SD is mature
Well maybe my SD is mature for 10 (nearly 11) but she does all of this on her own. We do have to "remind" her to shower everyday but it isn't to difficult for my DH to enforce since BM does have the same rule at her home.
I would be irratated with BM if you think she is doing this on purpose (sending her dirty or in bad clothes becuz you are taking her somewhere). But I would be harder on SD, to me at 10 yrs she is able to shower and dress herself appropriately.
I just found out thAt SD
I just found out thAt SD grandmother still gives her a bath. I taught my SD how to brush her hair how to put a ponny tail in and how to blow dry her hair. It's sad. Know I'm teaching her how to straighten her hair but her grandmothe (BM side) won't let her. SD goes over her grandmothers house everyday before and after school. How can SD learn anything when grandma babies her. BM don't do anything with her BD. Don't buys clothing etc. I didn't know it was my responsibility to track SD everything. It's not.