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I don't know what to do anymore...PLEASE HELP ME!?!?

jennifera's picture

Submitted by jennifera on Sun, 05/16/2010 - 8:16pm

My H and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, he had a 5 yr old daughter when we got married. We met, about a month and half later I found out I was pregnant, we were married a month after that. My H and I have had 2 boys (now 4 & 2) since. I have never really liked/enjoyed my SD. I don't know what to do anymore, I have come to the realization that I am never going to like her. Her mother is very distant. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help w/ any thoughts or how to deal???

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Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 05/16/2010 - 9:04pm

Does she live with you?

Does she possess any qualities that remind you of your H? Could you try to focus on those? Does she misbehave a lot?

If her mom abandoned her, then she might have some real emotional issues that need the attention of a trained professional. Her doctor could recommend a good kids therapist to you.

If you don't like her, that is perfectly fine. I think that if you both treat each other with civility and respect, things will be fine.

sm27's picture

Submitted by sm27 on Sun, 05/16/2010 - 10:17pm

So your SD is about 10 1/2 now? Can you give examples of why you feel like you will never like her? How does she behave with you and what has she done?

redheaded_stepmom's picture

Submitted by redheaded_stepmom on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 2:46am

I am in a similar situation. What makes you feel this way about your SD? Has BM always been distant? Anon2009 has a point, if there are attachment issues because BM has been out of the picture, your SD may need some professional help. That may be part of the reason you are having trouble with her.