Haunted House Part II
Last Friday was my first entry....it was also last friday that my BF brought up the conversation of his house...we were at dinner and he brought up the house and when the trustee sale was suppose to happen. I didn't know what a trustee sale was and asked him what that meant. He just said he wasn't sure, maybe foreclosure, maybe not. So he asked me, "What are the repercussions if I keep the house? What if I lived there?" I replied, "Well, I probably won't be coming over." Then he said, "So are you sure you won't/can't live in that house?" I said, "Honestly, I've thought about it for the past few days and I just can't. It has bad vibes, it's weird, your son remembers that house as you and ur ex, not me..." More talking back and forth...he says everything will be cleaned out....save money rather than getting a new place, etc...Lastly, I told him that I would love to be OK with it, but sadly, I just can't do it. His final reply? "ok" <-- I didnt like the way he said ok...it was a defiant one... Dinner was sooo awkward after that...I started to feel bad, as if he was already resenting me. But hey, I was just honest with him...I didn't tell him do it or else...I put my feelings out there and he has to decide what to do with that.
So I still don't know what his decision will be. :?
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i am not sure having his
i am not sure having his house foreclosed for your relationship is a good thing. it is really really selfish actually. you are encouraging him to destroy his credit. that is horrible. i mean, paint, redecorate...but destroy his credit to make you feel better? wow.
Is your choice "saving the
Is your choice "saving the house from foreclosure" or moving elsewhere? If so, I suggest you really think about it. Believe me I was once in your shoes, and I hated it...but we focused on fixing the house so that it was perfect for a sale & it would no longer remind me of the crazy one. We made an agreement of six months and then the house would go on sale. That's what we did. Although crazy witch messed up DHs credit, we eventually got a house because he didn't have a foreclosure. If the house had been foreclosed on, for the next 10yrs I would've had to buy a house alone and would have resented it much more.
Again, I know it's weird. Maybe you can save it, fix it and rent it until you can sell it...it would be a shame to lose the money you could get if you didn't think of different options.
I wasn't put in this
I wasn't put in this position. Our BM kept the house and then sold it and took all the profits. I can speak from my mothers experience. My mom moved in with my dad (he adopted my mom's children) That house my dad picked out.There were 5 kids in all and money was tight so they kept the house my dad had owned with his previous wife. Previous wife only stayed there 3-6 months and was sporatic at most when she did. It was basically only hers in name only because they were still married when he bought it. My dad painted, pulled down walls,put up walls, moved electrical, carpeted, bought a sign for the front door that said "lastname" wife and husbands name,etc.all while working 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week so they could afford it all the appease my mom. Finally they were able to afford to build their own home on a large lot. Mom kicked us all out in our teens because she didn't want us to ruin her new house. She wonders why no one visits now. Dad died and she's left in the house with a large yard. She enjoyed it for a few years. Recently she confessed she wish she wouldn't have been so hung up on the house and would have taken the time she had with my dad more seriously. A house is a house. Its the people in it that make it a home. Do you think your BF would make it into your home and let the skids know that its the two of yours? All in all I never personally had to deal with this. I did witness the unreasonable burdens my mom continually put on my dad over his choice in houses.