i feel like a bad Step Mum now!
Reading everyones post and how involved everyone gets in there skids lives i feel sort of bad now!
im alot younger then my DH and don't have any bio-kids of my own (maybe one day! and he isnt fussed either way) and there is a SD 7 and SS 10, and they come around everyone 2nd weekend and 1 night during the week, and i'm getting to build a relationship/friendship with them... but to be honest i don't think i lost myself when this all started.
last year i went to Europe alone for 3months, i go out with my girl friends i go to night school for myself 2 nights a week (one night when they are over so they get one on one time with there BD which i think is very important)..
is it bad i still have my old life? or should i be trying to be more of a motherly role when they already have there own parents?
i dont think i should really be making lunches and picking them up from school. of course i do all the cleaning and cook dinners and i'm a team player with my DH dont get me wrong! but i just don't believe they are mine and sometimes feel they are more roommates to me then skid. Is that a really mean and awful thing to think?
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I think if everyone involved
I think if everyone involved is satisfied with that arrangement then it is fine. There is no rule that says how much you should or shouldn't be involved. Different strokes for different folks. Don't try to fix it if it ain't broke...LOL.
I agree....you're doing the
I agree....you're doing the right thing and I really, really need to take a chapter from your life and use it in my own!
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
yeah thats what im feeling!
yeah thats what im feeling! and my DH is totally fine with the arrangements and is more then happy i still have my own life and distance from it, i didnt ask to have 2 skids overnight and i have alot of things i still want to do in my life and he is super supportive of that
but thanks cruella for your suggestion, i do find thats a thing i struggle with. I am the youngest in my family and have no younger cousins etc so just jumping in there and playing with them im finding difficult, im sure i will look back and laugh at myself of being nervous about it they are just kids and cant bite and thankfully hearing all these horror stories of monster skids mine are just lovely!
Ditto. Everyone's life,
Ditto. Everyone's life, situation, circumstances, and personality is different. just do whats right for you.
in my case, ss doesnt have both parents around (bm is mostly absent) and i have been in his life since he was barely walking, we're both pretty young and this is just how it is and it works for us. we never really established homes and lives before we were a couple. not to mention ss lives with us and no one else.. that plays a huge part in how involved i am. im the oldest of five so bein around kids wasnt a biggie either- thats different for everyonetoo, not wrong, just different. both of us are in college and when ss spends the night with the grandparents, we go out together and act like normal 21 year olds that have been raising a kid and been cooped up in the house doin homework for a month straight LOL ie we go to the bar, get sh*t drunk, call a cab, go home, wake the neighbors and wake up with a hangover and start all over again tryin to get ahead (teehehe). your situation is different and that works for you. theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
no i love it. i just booked
no i love it. i just booked a spa day with gfs for a saturday we have SD and i have not been home on a WED night visit in ages. I like my SD, but...I am not dying if I do not see her. I just feel hey if something comes up I want to do...and I know there is no set fmily plan (like a cookout or preplanned outing) i go ahead and book it.