Am I being too nice? Advice requested
Loca Grande ticked me off back at the end of January, and I have cut all communication with her. Which in some ways is great, but she refuses to talk to Loghead, so most times we don't even know what plans she has with the skids. The boys were there this weekend, and they did call Loghead and arrange to stay with her Sunday night, and she would bring them back to school Monday morning. (They had a snow make-up day; I'm still on vacation.)
Well, she shows up here around 1:30 with their bags and shoes. I was pleasant. I was dying to ask if this meant they were just arriving at school, but I didn't. I asked if they'd had a nice weekend, and she just blew me off. It was so rude. She just put the stuff down and left. (Why'd she bother to knock on the door if she was just going to be rude? She could have just left it on the porch.)
That ticked me off. I have dealt with that woman now for 12 years. We have always gotten along for the sake of the kids. She got mad in January when she wanted permission to take the kids out of the country for Christmas 2010 and I wouldn't give it to her. I told her she'd have to talk to Loghead. She totally blew up at me and texted several inappropriate messages. That was it. I told her husband what she said and told him to make sure she didn't contact me again. I blocked her from my phone and that was it.
And I'll be honest- it has been so nice not to deal with her pyscho shit. But I kinda miss her. She had her moments, and I probably was like her only friend. After seeing her behavior today-on the privacy of my own porch- I wonder if I need to extend an olive branch of some sort. I don't want prom pictures, track meets and graduation to have an air of ickiness because she's pissed at me.
She'll hold the grudge. I'm over it. She was being rude and childish, but I've let it go. I'm sure she sees that I am the one who was wrong, so she'll hold it out and be pissy. I've dealt with her enough to know she's on the emotional level of a 12 year old girl. She will continue to be pissy until I reach out.
So, do I? I'm not going to apologize, because I did nothing wrong. But is there a way to connect without getting sucked back in, and should I?
The skids are 18, 15, and 14, so there are still many "family" events in our future...
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Comments
She's a big girl and she can
She's a big girl and she can choose to get along or to be angry. It's not like you told her NO about the trip, all you did was say that she needs to talk to the kids' father about it, which is what you should have done. I wouldn't even get close to puckering up for an ass smooch on her - if she's acting like this, she won't be receptive, not to mention you shouldn't have to do it anyway. You may end up feeling worse about it.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
You said it yourself that
You said it yourself that its nice to not have to deal with her psycho shit. Let it go. In my opinion you don't have to do anything unless you want to and it sounds like you don't want to. You are dealing with a blended family, unless you all are friends, there is always going to be an ickiness in the air.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus