Here we go again. It's been fairly quiet (with regards to my involvement at least, nobody has been talking to me skid wise for 13 months! BLISS!!) But suddenly it starts again. Not sure if anyone can see my old posts but basically bio mum is a crazed lunatic, eldest skid (21) is her mother's clone, middle one has social anxiety (19) and pretty much doesn’t get involved and hasn’t really ever said anything out of order to me, and youngest (15) just goes along with whoever he is with at the time. After the mother of all fall outs last September none of them have been speaking to me. Excellent!! They have seen my husband sporadically over the last year, a hand full of times and spoken to him on the phone occasionally. Worked perfect for me, he gets to see his kids and it's nothing to do with me. But last month bm split with her dh. It's been coming for the last 10 years, extremely dysfunctional so it was a nasty split and she just left uprooting the kids suddenly and completely changing their lives. (Sorry, should just say me and dh have been together 12 years and have a 6 year old and 3 year old together) Then it started. First off bm was fighting with her mil and the youngest skid ended up getting slapped by her mil so my dh had to go see if the skids were ok. Then they moved house and bm called to ask if dh would put the beds up for them cos apparently she couldn't do it and his kids had nowhere to sleep. Dh didn't go, but he used an excuse that he was working rather than saying no which peeved me completely, just stand up to the woman!!!!! Then they rang asking for a wire coat hanger cos they were locked out of their car, again dh said we didn't have any rather than saying ask a friend not me, I’m not responsible for bm's life! Then he was asked for advice in her sorting out her messy divorce... what so she can screw him over like she did dh?!!! Arrrrrrrgggghhhh! I'm so angry!! Anyway yesterday bm called my dh and has decided in her infinite wisdom youngest skid needs his dad in his life and that's why he's been an emotional wreck lately (nothing to do with getting his whole world flipped upside down going through another very nasty divorce in the family at 15, getting slapped by a granny or basically having a psycho for a mother). Dh tries his best to spend time with him but he always turns him down. None of them have been to my house since the argument last year but he will go out places with then if they will meet him. I was in the room when she called so could hear every word on the phone. She put on her very special "I'm reasonable, sane and looking out for my children's best interests" voice and dh said it would be easier if skid would come to the house. I've never said they're not allowed to my house but believe me I'm not jumping for joy at the prospect. So dh said well why doesn't he to which she replied “well it’s your wife, none of them like her". Well of course my blood was boiling, I never did anything wrong to those kids, it was all her poisoning and moulding them into her worshipers that caused all of this. Believe me for the first 9 years with dh I went above and beyond what a step mother should do just to have it thrown in my face when bm got jealous we were happy and she wasn’t!! But worse than all that dh just pretended he didn't hear the comment and changed the subject, never once jumping to my defence or saying that nothing was my fault! I am raging!!!! Anyway, it gets worse. Dh has invited youngest skid over in a couple of days to "have a cup of tea" with Me and my kids to try and build bridges… I really really don't want to this, seriously I can think of nothing worse. I don’t want to build bridges, too much has happened since, I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them. I am happy for dh to have a good relationship with them, I even allow my kids the same, but just no involvement from me!!! I said to dh I would go out, but he turned round and pretty much begged me to stay in. He is desperate for things to be how they were and for us all to play happy families, I just cant. I said I would be polite and say hello, but then I would keep myself busy doing some chores out of the way as a compromise. I can’t roll out a red carpet for a child who absolutely detests me and who I can’t stand much either, no matter how much I love dh. DH throws at me “he’s just a 15 year old boy and you have to be the adult and the bigger person here!!” but I don’t agree. Dh needs to teach them manners and respect for elders!! I really don’t know what to do for the best without causing a massive rift between me and dh, we’ve already had one massive row about it. He needs to get in the real world!!!!!!