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The freaking nerve of this woman: Total Vent

MommyMayI's picture

For years DH has been trying to get the holiday schedule changed so that when it is the other custodial parents holiday they could pick up ss9 from school rather than from each other's house. It has always worked out that the holidays fall on BM's weekend, which was fair because she had primary custody. BM bitched that it wasn't fair because she was missing out on her weekend and those few extra hours with SS9 helped him to bond with her. GAG ME!

Of course now that they have a more shared custody, not entirely 50/50 (BM gets MTW until 4:30, DH gets W4:30 and Thursday and they both do EOW), and now the holiday falls on our weekend, she wants to change it to school pick ups. She calls at 8pm the night before and tells dh she wants to change it so that she doesn't have to come to our house. Um, that's what dh has been telling bm since the beginning. We don't want to pick ss9 up from her house on Wednesdays but she makes us and she has always made us pick ss up from her house on the Fridays when it was his holiday. Why the F*** should we change it now?

DH told her no right off the bat and she flipped a freaking lid (as usual). So he said that he would think about it and then call her back in the morning. I know that it is between them on the schedule but he would be a freaking p***y if he agreed to her demands. Their therapist wants them to compromise, and if she wants holiday schedules changed then she needs to compromise and let DH pick ss up from school on Wednesdays. Of course BM completely disagrees. She will never change. UGH!

Comments

MamaDuck's picture

Tell your DH if he's considering compromising, have BM do the 'give' first, so.. have her agree that DH can pick SS up [how ever it conveniently works best for him] and then he'll reciprocate and allow BM the change that works for her best (it should happen in real time that way, IYKWIM). If he gives in completely, she'll take a mile and give NOTHING.

MommyMayI's picture

That's exactly what I am going to tell him to do because I know she will not agree to it. At least then he can go into their appointment next week and tell the therapist that he tried working with her. ha!

dirtybiology's picture

Oh my gosh, So frustrating. We wanted to do Sunday switches during summer and asked BM for a whole summer if we could please try it so we didn't have to go to the other persons child care since we live in different towns. We normally switch on Monday's so that means the first day of going to a new summer camp SS would be transitioning homes too plus the extra 20 minutes drive.
Anyways BM eventually agreed to it the next summer because it benefited her since she didn't want to go to our childcare in the morning to drop him off Mondays.
SO ANNOYING. At first it was hard to finally accept it because she said no for so long. But we realized we finally got what we wanted, it didn't matter HOW we got it. And it was easier on SS too.
Hopefully they will compromise!!

MommyMayI's picture

He didn't play games. That's exactly what he did and she flipped out. I guess I didn't make that clear except to say the dh said he would think about it and the her this morning. He is going to try the tactics their therapist taught them and tell her yes but only if all pick ups are from school.