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Moving is almost as big of pain as dealing with BM

I.hate.cats's picture

Submitted by I.hate.cats on Thu, 09/03/2015 - 11:10am

I'd love to say we moved somewhere warm with tons of employment opportunities and the ability to grow a vacation trees. But I'd be lying. A years worth of crap accumulated, DH's extensive wardrobe and shoe collection (sometimes I can relate to men complaining about their wives shopping), appliances, two dogs, one kitten and in the midst of it all BM texts DH 2 hours ahead of time to say 'I can't take SD6 to the therapist appointment that I insisted on taking over and made 3 damn weeks ago.

I love DH but sometimes when it's balls to the wall time, he just seems to check out mentally, if not physically. I can honestly that if it hadn't been for BS14 and SS14, it would have taken twice as long. The new house is smaller and the kids are sharing bedrooms but I've been pinteresting my heart our to come up with ways of making it work.

On another note, we finally got BM served and she's been texting DH left and right complaining about what's in the motion and she hasn't even seen the sole custody paperwork he's filing today.In the meantime, she's doing everything she can to keep DH from seeing SD and if she keeps her for our weekend since it's her labor day and then keeps him from seeing her Wednesday which she's trying to do by saying she wants her one week vacation allotted in the divorce decree, despite it not involving vacation of any sort, we won't get to see SD6 for two full weeks.When DH took his vacation time it was to allow SD to attend summer school, he let BM take her to martial arts even though he strongly objected to it to begin with AND let BM take her that Sunday which was not only his vacation time but also his weekend.

11 days tI'll court and counting. Hopefully by that point I'll get our new place looking like a home but the stress of it all has been brutal on us both.

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Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 09/03/2015 - 11:25am

"I love DH but sometimes when it's balls to the wall time, he just seems to check out mentally, if not physically." Yes, yes, yes!

When we moved in the spring who did almost all the work? Moi.
DP just couldn't deal with it so went and sat by himself to work on the computer. At least he took me on a vacation afterwards! Because I was going insane.

Yesterday he checked out again.
Here is our text convo:

DP: Going upstairs to work in bed room. Too loud with kids here
(we have an actual office down the hall from SDs rooms - SD9 had her annoying friend over AGAIN)
Me: Tell them to be quiet! Why can't you bring SD9 to her friend's house? (she's been over every day this week...the reason was I found out that DP doesn't want to drive over there in the morning...it's funny b/c he tries to get out of driving friend home in the evening.)
DP: yes I did. bedroom doesn't work. told them that if I think noisy, they'll have to play outside.
I think I need to get those headphones (those very expensive noise cancelling ones)...because now I'm annoyed and not getting my work done.
Me: Exactly. Tell them to go outside! Yes, get those headphones and kids should do what you ask or Sofia goes home.

No more heard from DP. If I had been home, and they didn't quiet down or go outside, friend would have been lead to the car and taken home. No doubt there.

So I get home (late). DP told me he was "too tired" to do any dishes at all and is in bed, lying down. I said nothing, left all dishes as they were and went to bed (it was my bed time). I swear, he's so exhausted b/c there's no rules, he feeds them everything himself instead of teaching them to freaking make their own lunch, and then SD9 friend is over for 10 hours at a time and then he keeps her for dinner so she doesn't go home until 8:00 pm. yes, you are creating your own exhaustion DP!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 09/03/2015 - 11:57am

I swear it's like BM2 has some fucking radar that beeps and blips like crazy when something nice/fun/happy is happening at our house and she has to call and start shit.

BS5 1st birthday- on his actual birth-day, we went to out to a restaurant to eat, which was nice in itself because DH and I RARELY go out to eat. Had barely sat down and BM2 starts her incessant texting shit about stupidity... NOTHING important, NOTHING that could not have waited. I finally got pissed and told DH to tell her to fuck off that we were trying to have a nice dinner.

4 Years ago the weekend we were moving into the big beautiful house of our dreams, BM2 calls to tell DH that miscreant SS got caught shoplifting at the mall and of course it's got to be a big dramatic shit fest with her (you know blame me, blame DH, what is DH going to do etc)

BS5 4th birthday- we were having a big party for him at Sweet Frog. The party started at 11, so we needed to be there around 10 to get decorations done, place is about 30 minutes from our house. BM2 calls at like 9:30... can DH come and get SS? No she can't bring him or even meet because she has to be to her cult church. I mean we hadn't seen the kid for MONTHS and she just happens to call THEN and demand that DH come and get SS? Thankfully DH told her to pound salt.. I would have been embarrassed as all hell to have that punk at BS party.

I can only imagine all the times DH has not told me about because he knows I blow my stack about this crap.