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I wish MIL would just butt out once in awhile

borrowedtime83's picture

I know there is realistically nothing that I can do about this. I have tried to do what I can to keep her at an arm's length or more away from me at all times, but it seems she weasels her way into something every few days lately.

It wasn't bad enough that she was the head of the giant festering pimple of a conflict that went on for over 6 months regarding what school SD would go to and whose residence she would live in after starting middle school. (She and BM told SD she needed to "choose", although SO is already the CP and they have no say in that)

She also has to get involved in everything that goes on in our house, and pump SD for information every time she goes over there, and try to go against every decision we make in our household.

She called SO a few weeks ago and yelled at him because he hadn't taken SD to get her eyes checked when she failed the eye exam given by the school nurse. We had no clue about any of it, and when SO took her in, the eye doctor said she was VERY BORDERLINE for glasses, and a lot of kids fail eye exams given by people not in the opthamology profession.

Then there is tons of petty shit that just adds up.
*Going out and buying SD a new tube of toothpaste because she "lost" hers in her dump of a room, and we told her she could just use the communal one til she found hers, which was not acceptable
*Giving SD literally 100's of hotel shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and soaps (that she now hates and is sick of and complaining about) because she didn't like the items that were bought for the family and we wouldn't take her out and buy items just for her.

And most recently, she came over 20 miles to drop off a box of graham crackers and a gigantic bottle of ranch dressing for SD, because "she wanted them and we wouldn't buy them." WTF? If she would have asked or bothered to look, there was a box of graham crackers there all along. Whole box! And I have bought her ranch dressing, and she uses like 2 tablespoons and the rest of the bottle gets left to rot in the fridge. I was very offended by this "guesture", and I am glad I was in the bathroom when she came by.
I mean, seriously, I come down stairs and there is randomly a bottle of ranch and graham crackers sitting on my table? She tried to use the excuse that SD wanted salads and ranch is the only dressing she likes. Ok, so what kind of salad can you make with dressing and crackers?? Maybe I shouldn't be mad, but if it was me I would have gave it back to her and said "We can do our own grocery shopping, thank you." OR "Hey, next time you want to do our shop for us, let me make you a list." OR "If you wanted to be useful, you could have taken this violin that needs to go be returned to BFE and exchanged for a full size one, since you don't mind driving."
Ok, I am shutting up now.

Comments

MissDirected's picture

I feel for ya! I have a very similar MIL. Comes to the door with a bag of McDonald's for SD out of the blue while I'm cooking dinner... because SD doesn't like pork chops! Ugh! The difference is, mine lives next door! Grrrr....

borrowedtime83's picture

Oh, crap! Marie Barrone! That is worse! But ours has to make a conscious effort to be involved all the time, and we never know when to expect it.

Tuff Noogies's picture

oh that passive aggressive bull shit. MIL does shit like this, it used to get on my nerves but now i just roll my eyes as dh says "stupid bitch".

she sent an over-sized box of nesquick and poptarts. um, we already had both. dh buys both when they run out and want more. or she'll staple notes to a plastic bag w/ instructions regarding the contents.

thank god i haven't seen or talked to her in 3 years.

Tuff Noogies's picture

well shit. too bad your method didnt work with us!!!! the boys would call her "there's nothing to eat" - she'd come by with zaxby's. but this is ONLY when oss was the one griping the loudest. she's sent sheets, deodorant, back-packs, clothes, body wash, jackets, bought paint for his room, blah blah blah.

it resulted in her PAS'ing him big-time. Sad

the other two take what she gives them, but keep her kind of at arm's length.

borrowedtime83's picture

I honestly try to give her the benefit of the doubt, put myself in her shoes, and try to talk myself into believing that she is "trying to help" or that she is not going out of her way to irritate me, but that doesn't stop me from feeling this way.
Only 7 more years until SD is 18 and MIL can bug the crap out of her wherever she goes, be it college, the military, a street corner? Who knows at this point, right?
And the whole problem of trying to get MIL to butt out of our life, is she just goes double duty on her on-again-off again BFF BM, and she for some strange reason thinks that MIL is an oracle of wisdom and anything she tells her is the good and righteous truth that needs to be heeded and implemented, so help us God or burn in hell. And no, that is not really an exaggeration.