BM and DH have been doing extensive court ordered therapy working on their "buisness" relationship so they can co-parent better. This has been going on for months and we are getting down to the end.
A little backstory: months ago bm and DH made an AGREEMENT when dh signed ss up for soccer that for a COUPLE of weeks me and my bio girls would not attend practices during bm's custody times even though dh is coaching the practices. Bm claimed she needed a little time to get used to me being around. Ok fine.
Now it has been two months and I don't mind not going except when I have nights such as the other night. DD knows that dh is going to go coach her brother and she knows that he is going to be gone for 2 to 21/2 hours and she freaks out and wants to go with him. Mind you, dh works Ll day during the week. He leaves the house at 4am and gets home by 5:30 or 6:00. So those few hours before bedtime are precious for our little ones. Anyways DD had a tantrum. Again, I do not give in to tantrums and she was put in time out, but the whole thing could be avoided if we were able to go to the practice to begin with. Not only that I don't appreciate my husband's exwife telling me when and where I can seey own husband or when and where my daughters can see their father.
So when dh came home from practice, I told him bm running the show is over. He needed to let her know that we were going to abide by the original agreement and start going to all practices. Of course I won't attend every one but if I feel like going then we are going to go.
Dh told bm last night at therapy and again she blows up and has a huge tantrum. Dh is ruining everything. Dh is causing a fight. Dh is such a jerk! Blah blah blah. The therapist dragged.it our of bm that she doesn't like me around because everyone thinks I am ss's mom. I look like ss, ss comes to me and hugs me, ss will call me mom, I help dh during practices so everyone assumes I am mom. Dh explained that I only help because he asks me to and that no one else will. He also explained that bm's husband has the same traits at me but moreover he is a raging alcoholic and promotes excessive drinking around ss. He also replied that we are allowed to go to all the games so what is the difference between the games and practices? This is when bm replied that I need to learn my ROLE! I am not to in anyway take care of ss when he is in my house. I am not to discuss ss with dh
Basically, I just an outsider and ss can run the show while he is in dh's custody. Of course her hubby doesn't have to do that at her house!
This is what really pisses me off and makes me explode. This woman has no right to tell me how I should act in my family or in my home. When dh and bm have to make decisions about ss, I stay out of it. If it effects our money or our schedule, I put my two sense in but dh will do what he thinks is best for his son. I refuse to let this woman control me, my family, ory marriage.
And here is the kicker the damb therapist wants us to give it another couple months. Dh said if he thought there would be a difference and that bm would get.over herself then he.would have agreed but he could tell this was a jealousy thing and he told them both that I was my own person and that if I wanted to attend practices there was nothing he could or would do to stop me. Get that bm biatch, my dh knows my ROLE!