Man Child problems
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ss30 came over the other day to whine to DH about how he is 30 and can't find a decent paying job. He complains that he doesn't have the work experience that employers want and all the 20 somethings are getting the jobs instead of him. Well ss30, maybe if you didn't spend a decade living on mommy, daddy, aunts, and friends couches smoking pot and playing video games maybe just MAYBE you would have something to put on your resume!
Oh this is just another sad
Oh this is just another sad excuse for the lazy, entitled manchild. What will he say when he is 40, after wasting his 30s? He's too old to start over, can't go back to school, blah blah blah. His life sucks, oh poor poor SS.
My SS stb30 just started (another) new job. THIS one is the PERFECT job for him (just like all the other ones until they got too hard, too many hours, not treated right, interfering with other things). I say nothing. BM modeled this very behavior and DH has enabled it.
Our ss30's must've been
Our ss30's must've been separated at birth! ss just started a new job too that is soooo beneath him, does not pay enough, he really should be CEO blah blah. Tells dh that "I would be so much more successful now if YOU had done more for me."
I believe the real reason ss came over to whine about his "dire" circumstances was because DH recently sold some high end items and posted that they were SOLD on Facebook. After that ss30 magically appears. Guilt cash payouts.
I'm sure he did but THANK
I'm sure he did but THANK GODDESS that I didn't know the Under Lord }:) when he was in high school and I don't care enough to ask dh about it. I know that DH and I never would have made it. I absolutely admire you sm's who deal with teen skids. My own are trying enough, someone else's HELL to the NO!
Wah wah wah I've seen so many
Wah wah wah
I've seen so many people have to restart their lives at much older ages. I know a woman who's husband divorced her at 60. She had never worked a day in her life and her abusive DH had kept her very isolated. Her parents were deceased and she had no support system.
She went to nursing school and became an RN so she could support herself. It was extremely difficult for her, but she just did it.
Good for her! It is difficult
Good for her! It is difficult to reinvent yourself and start over. I'm in the same boat after decades of raising kids and working part time jobs.
ss30 is of the attitude that he's missed the boat, he's an over the hill 30, poor me. Daddy money NOW. DH works overtime every week, works side jobs and ss just goes from couch to couch bemoaning his fate. Gawd it's annoying.
I have a nephew like that.
I have a nephew like that. He had all of those excuses: the teacher was bad, the cops were out to get him, etc. He came to stay with me for a few weeks when he was 20, going to get his life on track. Assured me in writing that he had his GED and was not taking drugs. We used up tanks and tanks of gas trying to find him a job. For several jobs, he refused to fill out the application because they wanted to take a drug test or check on his education. Finally came to light that he had no GED and had smoked pot the night before he arrived. He finally called his Mommy and told her I was abusing him because I was asking him to get out of bed before 3pm. He was rescued from me by my Mother and Sister who would not say a word to me being that I was an abuser. A week later my Mother called his parents and told them to come and collect him. As a result, it was all my fault - even to this day, that he is now 30 years old, a drug dealer and living off of a woman. Sometimes there are hidden benefits. I consider myself lucky that I am 'shunned'. LOL LOL
Can't blame you for being annoyed. You see no end to it. Gosh! I wish there was an answer. DH has laid the foundation. Frustrating! Who knows! Maybe he'll find some poor woman who will support him or will run out of couches and be forced to support himself. Just DON'T, under any circumstances, allow him to move in with you.
Being the shunned one does
Being the shunned one does indeed have benefits like a fatter wallet and peace of mind. Still blaming you after 10 years, wow. I can relate though, I have a brother just like that. I've actually been told that I'm the evil unchristlike sister for not being my "brothers keeper" aka enabler.
Yep, it's annoying. I get these glimmers of hope that he's grown up and then WHAM, nope. He's not my man child but unfortunately he's tried to be my problem. Moving in has already been an issue that I've had to deal with and stomp my foot down on several times. I'm about ready to burn every couch in the house and seal up the basement as a preemptive action because I'm sure there will be a next time he needs somewhere to stay for "just one night" which turned into almost 2 weeks last time.
I hope for you and DH's sake
I hope for you and DH's sake it's true too. Thank goodness he can't leave the state! If only parents realized how damaging it is to enable your kids. The purse strings are cut here too at least in regards to our joint accounts. Unfortunately I have no control over what DH does with his pocket money.