That's sad and it's got to be confusing for the child. What makes it worse is you will most likely getbacklash from it.

A lot of women keep their married name so as to have the same last name as their children. It's much easier when dealing with the schools. I kept my exH's last name after our divorce. He remarried 6 mos after we divorced and his new wife was pissed that I had "her" name. I got angry emails insisting that I change it. It was never about her and exH, it was about the kids.

I'm remarried now and have a new last name but the schools still call and ask for "Mrs. exH." I used to correct them but now just go with it so I don't have to explain my sordid life story to my kids teachers.

DH's ex still has his last name and it's not an issue for me. The woman just doesn't enter my mental space very often. Adult skids were mad that I took on DH's last name when we married. Boo Hoo, guess they need to live their own lives instead of being voyeuristic into ours.

I can tell she is jealous. Divorce is hard but to mentally involve your children is childish. They are legally divorced and he has moved on and she is still trying to keep him and wanting to somehow use the child to guilt him possibly. I have been on both sides of this situation, being the ex and being the new spouse. My spouse's bio son MOM hasn't ever been in my spouses life much, as it was a short fling when hey were 19-20 years old she got pregnant moved 10 hours away and came back a few years later with a son, and pretty much demanded they be together as a couple. He said no, but I will help you raise our son. Bio mom was not happy about it and the two relationships he was involved in from then on she has caused at least 2 problems, the second relationship being ours. She was married for awhile, recently separated and was contacting my spouse all the time, out of nowhere sometimes too. Which did not happen for about 6 years! She wanted sympathy, she was angry with life, and she wanted my spouse and her and their child to be a family. She guilt's my spouse all the time except he knows what she is doing, and she tries to control his life and our home, my children are 'those kids" she calls my kids when referring to them and does not like them around "their" son she makes that point clear. My ex spouse and I had a difficult separation - as most break ups feel like hell. My spouse was having an affair with our mutual "friend" and I found them on a date together, fortunately it had just began a month before. I left with my kids and moved out a week later and my heart was broken along with jealousy, anger, spite, and the list goes on. I seeked counseling. My children were confused, hurt, and I was constantly telling them it was not their fault, they were very young and I often would say " mommy and daddy just need a break for awhile, we are working on things" after three months obviously we were not working on our relationship and him and his other women publicly announced their relationship. I had family albums that were located in my bookshelf in the living room that often my kids would open to look at and point to all of us as a "family" . "momma and dadda" my 2 year old would get excited meanwhile my stomach knotted and I felt nausea's everytime. However I always tried to console my children during a rough time. A year in a half later, things were normal and pain was gone in all of our hearts. Daddy is their family now, not mine. They are older and it hurts them still, but I would never go out of my way to hold up a picture and say" See mom and dad together look at us kissing, look at us on the beach together, look at our wedding photo" . Never.