Venting about stepkids
I am new to the site, and the reason I am here is because my step kids are so annoying I just have to vent about it. Especially since I am going to be spending the better part of my afternoon watching them so their dad can work. Not my idea of an enjoyable Sunday. I know that part of my problem is that I often say yes when I really don't want to, because I want to "seem" like a loving step mom and want to avoid conflict. Also, he helps me all the time with my kids.
I love him very much, but I just don't love his kids. I don't know if this will ever happen. Sometimes I get a glimmer of "liking" one of them, but it soon passes.
The almost 6-year-old boy poops in his pants just about every day. It's disgusting, and many times it happens while I am the only one taking care of him and I have to deal with it. He is also very physical. His first reaction to everything is to kick, punch, and hit someone. My biological kids are both girls, and I grew up with a sister, so this is all new to me.
My 8-year-old stepdaughter is a spoiled brat. The minute we get in the car she says, "Can you change the station?" on the radio. She makes everyone wait for her when it's time to leave the house or go somewhere. She is always saying my name in this whiny voice, and it's always to ask me if I can give her something or let her do something. Everything is about her and what she can get from me. She orders me around like I am her servant. Sometimes, when I am low on patience, I am pretty harsh with her, like saying "No!" before she even gets out her request. And then I feel bad. But not all that bad.
The funny thing is, my biological daughters are no picnic. They are also 6 and 8, and I know they do annoying things, but I love them unconditionally and naturally want to side with them in any kind of conflict. I am getting the feeling this is normal, but I don't feel like I can talk to their father about it. It would hurt my feelings if he felt that way about my kids (let's face it, he probably does). To be honest, I never really liked kids much. I love my own, but that's about it.
I think the 6 year old poops
I think the 6 year old poops his pants on purpose just to make you mad. It is not not normal, otherwise. From now on, save it for when dear-old-dad gets home and have him clean it up. His kid, his problem. No way in hell would I clean that up if it weren't my kid.
Since you admit that your
Since you admit that your kids are no picnic, chances are he feels the same way about your kids.
You'll never feel the same
You'll never feel the same about skids as bios.
6 year old pooper--he would have to clean himself up unless there is some physical/mental disability that means he couldn't. My own DS used to make himself vomit when he was mad about something. He was about 6 the last time he did it...that was the time he vomited all over his bed and I told him he would have to lay in those sheets until he cleaned it up himself. He cleaned it, and he quit pulling that stunt. Can the skids be left with BM instead of you??
The SD sounds pretty much typical for SDs on this board. Self-centered, needy, spoiled.
I feel your pain. Especially with the SD.
I agree with not cleaning up
I agree with not cleaning up after the 6 yr old. Let him clean it himself and wash out his own pants OR wait until dad gets home to deal with it. That behavior plus his abusive reactions are not normal for any child. He either has a medical issue or some form of abuse is going on.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses. I think having Mr. Pooper clean his own pants is a good idea.
SD8 was surprisingly not that bratty yesterday, but the boy was out of control. He wouldn't stop bothering his sister, constantly head butting her and getting in her space after repeated admonishments from me, his sister, and his dad. It's like he needs constant attention, even if it's bad.
Their BM is an angry lawyer who has dragged out the divorce with their dad for about 4 years. She has taken him to court again and again trying to get sole custody, making all kinds of crazy accusations against him and me. She even filed a report with Child Protective Services, and all 4 of our kids had to be interviewed by police and social workers. The other day my daughter and stepson were playing a game in which one was the "social worker." This is now part of their vocabulary! The report came back unfounded and the judge finally shot BM down in court in her attempts to separate the kids from their father. I'm thinking these kids have issues with the crackpot of a mom. She won't "allow" their dad to call them during her custodial time or show up at any school events, like concerts or back to school night. Thankfully, I have a much more cordial and flexible relationship with my ex-husband, which is why my kids are more well-adjusted.
Any other ex horror stories?