I'm sorry, but I find it really hard to take you seriously. If I thought there was a genuine threat to my kid's life, I wouldn't waste a minute trying to prove my point to a bunch of anonymous strangers. So I don't think you take SD seriously, which makes it hard for me to take these ongoing posts about the 'threat' seriously.

I get that your SD is a pain and that you don't like her, and that your DH doesn't seem to have a clue. But either you take her threat seriously or you don't. And since YOU don't seem to take it seriously, why should I? And why on earth are you still beating that dead horse?

If my daughter gets hurt because of SD,
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If your DD gets hurt it will be because of YOU and only you. Since you take this SOOOO serious, your DD should never be around SD again right?

I just really can not take you serious about this. It is just too absurd of an issue. Poor SD.

You have yet to action considering murder is murder. You're partying. Taking kids to camp. Going about thoug daily business. On your last blog, I suggested you take this to the law.

Did you?

Have you filed a report and had the child picked up and taken to juvie yet?

Have you searched her person for weapons?

Have you made sure she is not in your home to protect yourself and your daughter?

Have you hidden all the sharp objects like knives or scissors?

Have you called child protective services?

Did you file a report for her "almost" shoving you to the ground? (Which I don't believe. She just wanted to walk with you and your daughters and was trying to squeeze in)

Have you done one thing to prevent a murdeous attempt on your daughter's life?

Have you told your husband you believe his child is violent and want her out of the home?

I would like to know what action you have taken except for coming here and typing this out. because I want to be honest. There is no threat. You want to use this against her so badly but you realize that when you do, your marriage is over. When you take the next step of blowing this so far out of proportion, your huband is going to question your sanity and ask you to leave. Or he will pack his things and go. Because this was really nothing more than an inappropriate statement with no malice afore thought.

What have you done to protect your daughter against -in your mind- a very real threat?

A threat by an adult and a threat by a child is like comparing apples and prostitutes... If I really believed my child was in danger I would not allow the child who threatened her/him near my child. Your reaction speaks volumes.

The bottom line is you don't like your SD and are finding all sorts of reasons to justify that dislike. You don't have to like your SD, nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is your attitude of dislike you so openly vent to a child. You are an adult and how you treat your SD is reprehensible to me. That is my opinion.

I wish you would find the courage to tell your DH that his child is not welcome in your home. I feel sorry for the child and what you subject her too. Or maybe your DH should open his eyes and see the way you treat his child.
I hope the BM in this situation rides your ass and DHs for the way you both treat this kid.

If you can't be a decent adult to this kid (even if you dislike her) tell your DH that you don't want his kid in your home. Stop demonizing a child to her Dad so that you can get her out of your life by underhanded means.

Nunya, truly, get yourself some help. What you are doing is wrong. Leave this child with her mom. I won't comment on your posts again. It is pointless to repeat the same things to you.

Yeah I have nothing to add that wasn't already said.

Nunya, you treat your SD like I was treated as a child. I was able to get out. (Grew up, moved away.) My SM never got any happier. Even with her DDs. (Yes mine had DDs too, that were just as wonderful as yours.) I remember I couldn't even go to the pool right according to her. Not my clothes but how I played...

My dad finally saw her for her true self without any help from me. As a matter of fact I was over a thousand miles away doing my apprenticeship, because there was only money for DDs college.
He divorced her.
She found another sucker, after a decade, to marry.

If you felt your daughters were in danger, you would take them and move into your own place.

Instead you stay in home where you believe a 10 year may try to kill them. You stay in a situation where your hate for a 10 year old is so strong, that you take issue with everything she does. You stay in a home with a man who is hot and cold with your kids.

What are you getting out of staying in a home where you are so unhappy and your kids are in mortal danger?

Context is everything. Sure, a grown man wielding a knife and snarling "I'm gonna kill you" is a serious threat. A little girl laughing about clumpy mascara and joking "I'm gonna kill you" is not. Is NOT. Nor is it "inappropriate" or wrong. I saw a wonderful article on FB the other day entitled "No, it's not your opinion, you're just wrong." This post makes me think of that. (Also, we live in a society with less violence than ever before in history. It IS a different time - a much MUCH safer one. Which is *exactly* why some people are hypersensitive to even a hint of violence, because that have literally zero personal exposure to it. But being hypersensitive to it doesn't make them right.)

Nunya, here's the upshot. I do NOT think you're a bad person, or evil, or whatever. Nor do I think your SD is bad. I think you two are very VERY different. You are not "right" and she is not "wrong" - but that doesn't actually make YOU "wrong" either. At least not yet.

I do not believe you can ever appreciate your SD, and her being different. But what you MUST recognize is that some people could. And do, in fact. She's not your cup of tea, that's fine. So STAY AWAY FROM THE TEA. Don't try to get rid of the tea, don't tell other people they're not allowed to drink the tea, don't try to claim the tea is bad and everyone must believe that. SD in no way, shape or form hurt your DD. At ALL. This did NOT require your intervention. If you TRULY believe that SD means she will hurt or kill your child, then you MUST move out. You must protect your child. If you do NOT believe that (and I don't believe you do) then you need to tell your DD to get over it. YOUR DD, not SD.

You are doing YOUR DAUGHTER a disservice here. She NEEDS to learn how to deal with people on her own. Your job is to protect her from HARM (ie, genuine threats to her safety), but if you "protect" her from all hurt she will never learn how to be a successful adult. Falling down is how you learn the strength to stand tall. Learning how to have a relationship with her stepsister will help her have relationships with her teachers, her bosses, her in-laws... don't take that away from your daughter. Yes, if you perceive a REAL threat to her safety then you should act. ACT. That means doing something more than bitching in an internet forum. Otherwise you need to tell her she has to learn how to cope with it on her own. You owe your daughter that much, to have faith in her ability to learn how to deal with other people.

vent away nunya. but in addition to venting, some thoughtful questions have been raised by some comm enters, along with possible helpful solutions.

we all know you and your sd do *not* get along. if u really dont think it was a threat that would be acted on or put your daughter in actual danger, then please for your own sanity find some way to step back from this child.

i'm thinking maybe she thrives on ANY attention from you even if it's negative - like her brain has a short in it and she gets pleasure out of getting any reaction out of you. you might try what i've done w/ yss and put her on complete ignore her (not in a passive-aggressive way, but more of a spaced out "huh? sry i was reading..." kind of way), giving no reaction whatsoever; and only interact with her when she's showing positive behavior traits. it might be worth a shot, she's still young.

I can't believe this is still going on, that poor horse has been dug up just to be beat on again.

Here's me getting my licks in too!

1. Some OTHER kid says this: OTHER kid makes my kid feel bad. I am defensive and want to retaliate. If I am also a good parent, I want to teach OTHER kid that this is not ok. I tell DH/OTHER kid's parent, who does next to nothing. I am left with OTHER kid who has learned nothing, a kid who feels bad, and my own frustration and anger. I post online about this many times to cope.

OR I focus on my own kid. I use this opportunity to teach my own kid about how to handle their feelings as well as the negative way other people sometimes express their feelings. I talk about how relationships are built up and torn down. I talk about healthy boundaries, about friendships that come and go, and see if there's some underlying reason my kid would continue to hang around someone who is unkind to them. Hopefully my kid has choices and I'm not forcing her to be in the company of someone who mistreats her.

2. My OWN kid says this: OWN kid makes other kid feel bad. I am defensive but compassionate. If I am a good parent, I tell my kid this is not ok. I teach my kid how to apologize, and supervise a satisfactory apology. I then ask my kid to suggest ways to make amends and support them in doing something for others. I discuss healthy and appropriate ways to express feelings during many many family dinners. As a result, I have taught my child how to heal a relationship when s/he has harmed it, and I have taught compassion as well as a lingering lesson (one hopes) in thinking before speaking. I share this small parenting win online and receive many 'likes.'