Will a judge even care?
Many of you have been down the court road and we are less than a week away from a date with a magistrate. I don't even know if magistrate means decisions will be made. I know it's something like a pre-meeting. Anyway, last night was BM's night to have SS14 and guess what ya'll??? She went to a play instead and didn't come get him. DH said it is probably because SS has football in the morning and she doesn't want to take him.
This dumb*ss is asking for 100% custody with us having absolutely no contact and can't even get him on the Friday BEFORE court. What do you guys think? Will the magistrate take note of this behavior and give us the arrangement we want, or do they even care about these things? I'm trying to predict the future here.
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Who has custody of SS now? It
Who has custody of SS now? It doesn't sound like she is taking things very seriously if she does that right before a court date where she's asking for no contact at all.
Did something happen? That's a bit extreme.
We have 70% custody and there
We have 70% custody and there was a major blow up this summer where she refused to take him to a counseling appointment on her day. My husband told her to make a new appointment herself (it was the second one we had arranged around her schedule) and bring him back after he talked to someone. She went and flied for full custody. We have him back now, but responded to her modification request to have her get less time since she doesn't even take him during her time. We're like her nannys and she takes him when she feels like messing with him.
You should get as many of
You should get as many of those dates as possible (if you don't already document) and make sure DH has that because you may not get to speak. (That was my situation and I was put in a very bad position by the judge)
DH and I figured BM's up and she lost a lot of rights. With her, it was much easier to add up the hours utilized verses the hours available though.. .yes, I broke it down to the hour. That might not be necessary for you since she does take him sometimes but I don't see her getting her way with this. Going from 70 to 0 with no contact... Something extremely major has to happen for something like that.
All judges are different though so we never knew what to expect.
probably if you have more
probably if you have more than just this once instance documented and can prove this is how it usually goes. it's all about proof. when we went to court we had cps investigations, video of bm blowing her lid, records of police being called to her home(s) (not kidding you- 60 times in less than 6 months), report cards of the skids failing when she had them, truancy reports, on and on. don't walk into court empty handed like bm did. she lost.
That's what I figured. We
That's what I figured. We can go through and write down many of the nights she didn't actually take him.
It's extremely unlikely any
It's extremely unlikely any judge is going to go from your DH having 70% to 0%. There's obviously a reason he's got 70% now and BM throwing a snit fit isn't just cause to change things so drastically. She'd have been better off trying for 50%, she's just going to look like an asshole.
Bring in a list of the times/dates/situations (documentation) of all the times she's not shown up or refused her parenting time. There's no way a judge is going to hand her 100% custody when she's not exercising the 30% she has now.
Make sure DH has all the
Make sure DH has all the documentation and is familiar with it. There is a good possibility you may not be able to talk in the hearing - you may not be able to be in the room. DH needs to know how to present the information you have.
Great information! Thanks
Great information! Thanks for everyone's responses, I will use this advice.