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It's officially time for separate accounts.

Redredwine's picture

I'm done being the only one who knows what bills there are and how to use online banking. I'm tired of DH calling me in a panic in a checkout line because "my card doesn't work!" You didn't pay attention and you ran down the funds. It's working perfectly.

I'm done with the money from the sale of my house that was supposed to be used for an addition to DHs house...that he has successfully put off for two years...going to fund his lawyer and the GAL and his final financial settlement with BM for the last six months. It's 3x more money than estimated! As much as it may be "our" money, it wasn't "our" money to spend on his past relationship...it was for OUR relationship. And because he pays no attention, he has no idea it's that much.

Hes also been spending money on the skids clothes instead of them using their clothing budget. We did just get one skid new, good shoes cause he needs them. And the other got a bike. Fine. But just spending money outside of our agreements does not fly with me. I am now less financially stable. That stops this week. Hope DH is ready for a trip to the bank.

Comments

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I threaten DH with the checkbook all of the time, because we both know he doesn't want to take on that responsibilty. He keeps spending and I just make sure the bills are paid.

~ Moon

Sweet T's picture

I would never share money again with a partner. I did with both husbands and it sucked. I would do an each and a joint for shared bills.

Redredwine's picture

Good point. I should take over the finances again. I dropped what were "his" bills during the last months because he was soooo bitchy with all the court stuff. I should get it back in shape, get the $$ put back and THEN get thing separated. However, there are two accounts I need him off. I will do that right away.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

DH and I have a joint account. But, I control it. Because he would overdraft us if I didn't. We went to a joint account b/c he struggled to pay his half of the bills when we had separate accounts. He knows to ask me before he spends money. Not that he needs my permission, but more along the lines of, hey do we have the money for this?

The truth is that if he was spending money for BM or Skids without my permission, I would separate our funds immediately. And he knows it. He doesn't really push the money issue any more. Since I took control of our funds, we actually have everything paid up and have some savings, which we will need when the lawyers bills start rolling in from this custody fight with BM.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

DH and I have a joint account. But, I control it. Because he would overdraft us if I didn't. We went to a joint account b/c he struggled to pay his half of the bills when we had separate accounts. He knows to ask me before he spends money. Not that he needs my permission, but more along the lines of, hey do we have the money for this?

The truth is that if he was spending money for BM or Skids without my permission, I would separate our funds immediately. And he knows it. He doesn't really push the money issue any more. Since I took control of our funds, we actually have everything paid up and have some savings, which we will need when the lawyers bills start rolling in from this custody fight with BM.

SM12's picture

DH and I have a joint account which both our paychecks go into to pay household bills and things...and I have a seperate Slush fund which I put all child support, bonus checks from work as well as expense checks into. DH knows I have the account but has no idea if there is any money in it. I use it for my extras and to provide extras for BS. I NEVER use it for DH or SS's or for household bills. We used to have seperate accounts but DH wasn't contributing to the household bills so we got a joint account in order for me to have access to his money. Other than spending money on lunch everyday, he really isn't a big spender now. He does on occassion promise BM he will pay for half of something he isn't REQUIRED to pay but he manages to do it without dipping into our funds too much. At times I wish we could seperate our accounts again but then I would be back to doing it all myself probably...and single.

Jsmom's picture

Everything separate here. Works great for us. We split it all down the middle on a credit card that pays for all household stuff. Joint savings is only contributed to, if we match the other. We use that for vacations or a large family purchase.

Only thing I don't control is my IRA, DH handles all of that for me since he is good at it. I get the statements and trust him. I handle the taxes with the acct since I own my own company. DH has no rights to any of it.

Cover1W's picture

We have separate accounts but just opened a joint account ONLY for household expenses and joint bills. And I'll be watching it like a hawk. Seriously. He knows it too.