What do you think?
Ok BM is super annoying, I hate her, no secret. So I find everything she does annoying and unnecessary.
So apparently, her father is in the hospital with heart failure. She called dh while we were at my mother's house. She didn't want to tell SD. She didn't want dh to tell SD. She didn't want to come pick SD up. So why did she call dh? If something happened (her dad dies),she wants to pick up SD. Why wouldn't she call dh then instead of now, and why did this conversation last more than 15 minutes? Imo this conversation should have been at most 5 minutes, "hey, my dad is inot the hospital. If he dies, can I pick up SD?", "Yes of course, sorry to hear this", "thanks" how does that take 15 minutes?
It's like when she called saying she has cancer (which by the way she still hasn't shown any symptoms, or done anything about,our told SD).
I think she is trying to get dh to be her shoulder to cry on. What's wrong with her husband's shoulder?
Maybe I feel this way because I can't stand her, she's a horrible mother that uses her kids as a pawn to get what she wants. She lies and manipulates everyone around her.
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If she doesn't think clearly
If she doesn't think clearly in normal situations she could just be totally off because her dad is dying. I'd give her this one unless it becomes a pattern while he's ill.
It is a pattern with her and
It is a pattern with her and she's trying to teach SD to be the same way.
She has told SD that she had a broken nose, so SD went around telling everyone she had a broken nose. BM didn't take her to the doctor, she had no x rays,when we got her less than a week later we saw no bruises. I showed SD what a broken nose looked like, she said her nose didn't look like any of the 100s of pictures we saw. I liked up mild broken nose, just incase. She said it wasn't swollen, it wasn't crooked, there was no bruising, there was no blood. It was tender to touch for like 2 or 3 days, but that was it. SD is always tender to touch.
BM told her that she broke a blood vessel in her foot, I SD went around telling this to people. It was just a bruise.
There is so many more, these 2 examples are just within the last 3 months and are off the top of my head
Ya I don't believe her
Ya I don't believe her
I am like you, I HATE our BM.
I am like you, I HATE our BM. I HATE it with a passion when people want to give her a 'free pass', let her off, for ANYTHING. "Oh, she's going through a hard time, I can't be rude to her" WTF, I don't care if the person who spawned and raised this demon is dying (I know, awful thing to say, but that's how much I hate the b!tch), I don't want her crossing my boundaries (which includes MY SO and MY 'in-laws').
Maybe Redwine is right... but I'd be mad at SO for not cutting that call short, after what she's done to me and mine, I feel betrayed by SO whenever he doesn't assert boundaries.
I know. When it comes to BM, my AWFUL comes out. Meh.
I must be awful too then.
I must be awful too then. When she had "cancer" my first thoughts were "thank God, now she won't be around ruining or lives" but then I totally freaked out about how sick my thought was. But I've come to terms with that thought. And then she didn't do anything about the cancer, no more tests, no treatment, and she's totally fine. She "had cancer" but wanted to get a second opinion about treatment or something
See that's how I feel too,
See that's how I feel too, and it's up to dh to make her stop. Honestly dh has agreed to not ever answer BM's phone calls, yet all year long he had answered every single one "accidently". "I accidently swiped it when I pulled it out of my pocket." He's used that one a zillion times, "nephew must've answered it when he was playing on my phone.", I thought it might have been SD using her mom's phone" he's used that one a bunch of times, I was playing my game on my phone and she called and when I went to click on the 'upgrade' button on the game, I hit the 'answer' button on her call". I'm really beginning to get pissed about it.
I think it's up to your DH to
I think it's up to your DH to shut her down and get off of the phone as soon as possible.
BM used to do this with my DH and he told her if she started going on about something other than SD, he would hang up on her (and he did). My DH is a NICE guy but that bitch had put him through hell, he did not care what she was going through.
And this is where I stand, dh
And this is where I stand, dh couldn't figure out why I was angry with him. It was that phone call, and then he called her to let her know that her father text SD something about being out if the hospital by Monday (or something along those lines). But then as soon as he got off the phone, he wanted some nookie. After him talking to BM and pissing me off, I was in no mood. And I told him that it really pissed me off that talking to BM seemed to get him in the mood.
I know he's not hot for BM, she's over 300 pounds and a total bitch. But I just think all these phone calls are excessive. Every phone call that night could have been taken care of by text (which is what dh wanted to do staying 2 years ago). After BM pulled their verbal agreement about summer visitation out from under his feet he wanted to only text BM and not answer any phone calls. But this year is like the year of answering every phone call. Every time BM calls he somehow accidently answers it. Or feels like it might be SD (SD has her own phone) I'm seriously getting pissed about this.
I hate BM, too, so everything
I hate BM, too, so everything she says/does is like nails on a chalkboard. If her dad really is dying, I'd give her a pass but if she's a cancer faking drama queen like ours, ugh, sorry is all I got.
Right? I never believe people
Right? I never believe people who are known liars, especially when it's a sick and demented lie as she has told.
My BM did the same, once.
My BM did the same, once. Called DH at 2am to cry on his shoulder for a miscarriage (her boyfriends) while her boyfriend was driving her to the hospital, then texted him the whole next day about how she almost died and needs DH to take care of her while she recovers.
Completely inappropriate, completely over her boundaries!
Hope your DH sees that, my DH defended BM'S actions by saying "oh, in sure you would have called exH if it was you" really DH! I've NEVER called exH about anything, ever, except kids only.
He saw how inappropriate it was and put boundaries in place to prevent future "emotional" discussions
What my dh is saying is "well
What my dh is saying is "well you didn't hear me give her any moral support. I was very cold over the phone." While he was not being supportive, he hasn't once told her not to call him for emotional support.
He also says, "well I figured she was just calling to give me heads up that she may need to pick SD up." Part of me says "ok, that's understandable" but part of me keeps saying, "then it should have only took at the very most 5 minutes" and "I'd is a family emergency I wouldn't care if she gave you a heads up, and I know you wouldn't either". Seriously who would give anyone a heads up for a family emergency? Did she call her boss to let him/her know she may not be coming in on Monday because there might be a death in the family?
I think that you have to
I think that you have to remember too that your husband was once her dad's SIL and he may have wanted to know what was going on and how he was doing and everyone else in the family was reacting and coping. So the conversation was probably 2 ways. I would let this one pass, but if she continues to call your husband for moral support through her dad's illness (whether real or imagined) then maybe you can hint to him that it is inappropriate that she seeks support from you and not her own husband. I can understand though why it aggravates you and why you feel little sympathy for her, some people wear us down so much or spread so many lies that wasting our sympathies on them is futile.
No, they were never married
No, they were never married and only dated a few months, he couldn't stand the guy. His in laws tried to bribe him worth 10,000 to not sign the birth certificate, and then to sign off all parental rights.
And also for the second part of your post, she had tried to seek moral support through dh when she found out "she had cancer"