I hear you! Been through the same exact thing. I completely agree with you. And I can almost guarantee she will lose the phone.

A 7 year old doesn't NEED a cell phone, but if the BM wants to get her one - so be it. YOU make the rules in your house. If you don't want her to have a cell phone, then it gets confiscated while in your home. BM can call the same phone she has been calling. Our BM got SD10 a cell phone for her birthday and then calls us to tell us that we have to help pay for minutes. We said NOPE, we weren't consulted and we don't agree that she needs one yet, so if you want her to have one, then YOU pay for all the minutes. We have never called SD10's phone, and half the time, BM has the phone because HER phone is out of minutes.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

You are NOT crazy. 7 year old do NOT need cell phones. Personally, unless a child is staying after school or going other places without an adult, they don't need constant access. If my SD comes here with a cell phone (which is definitely likely in a few years - she is 5 now) it will be taken away at the door. I have found (through this site and from neighbors) that the cell phones are tools for the BM to call/text whenever she feels like it and for the skids to be more effective in pitting parents against each other. If SD7 gets punished the first thing she'll do is take her cell to her room and call mommy to make her feel better. That is rubbish, being punished means feeling bad, dammit. I wouldn't allow it in my house and I wouldn't allow it to go to school with her when she is under my care.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

My DH's rule for this was perfect. You don't get one until you start making money and can afford one. I completely agree!!!

Nope, you're not being crazy. Personally, I think 7 is too young for a cell phone. We told both kids, BD11 and SS10 a couple of years ago that they could have one when they started middle school. At this time, they were 8 and my daughter was a few months away from her 10th birthday. Things between BM and FH were strained at the time because (1) we'd just moved in with FH and SS a couple of months before this incident (2) she was taking him to court and (3) he was trying to get her to establish structure for SS (regular visits with her instead of the sporadic, not calling to talk to him after bedtime) AND set boundaries (i.e. asking her to not just show up at our house without calling). Well psycho BM didn't take too kindly to these requests (he wrote her a letter since things were tense with all the legal crap). She interpreted his request to not call after his bedtime as him telling her when she could talk to SS. She then announced that she was getting him a cell phone. He told her that we already had set the expectation for when they could have this privilege and told her no. She did it anyway and it caused a major stink in our house, with my daughter not understanding why we said one thing, yet SS got a cell. Of course, SS used the cell as a "Look at what i have and YOU don't" taunt. After much discussion and tension in the house over this STUPID little phone, we got her one, a prepaid one. I hate that we had to do that but everything quieted down. Oh and shortly after SS got the phone, it spent a good MONTH lost. We eventually found it under the couch. He got a NEW one recently (again, spend spend spend is BM and her hubby's motto) and he lost that in a parking lot! Someone found it, called her since she was listed as "mommy" in the phone, and actually returned it). Since then it's been lost a few more times, spends most of the time with a DEAD battery and most recently (chuckling), SS bought several games adding up to quite a bit of money that BM and her hubby were not pleased about. FH said, "I told you, he didn't need a phone". He's just WAY to irresponsible with his stuff. Even his games are lost half the time.

I think it depends on a few things... The age of the child, the need to have a cell (is the child away from the house alot doing extracurricular), the responsibility of the child. All that said, and even though we did get our then 9 year old a phone, I still think 7 is too young.

Ok she has NO bussiness with a cell phone at that age But yes you are right BM is going to be calling and calling just watch. It happened to me. My SD10 get her cel at 8 years old, Oh and I also made the Rule about not having the cell at our house But of course BM made me look horrible and my rule never worked. the fist few months were ok she would give it to her daddy and ask for it ever once in a while. Now at 10 years old she is texts and having sexual comversations with her boyfriend (yes her boyfirend) Thats crazy. I have heard her on the phone at 5:30 in the morning when she is over at our house, I think this is a big mistake! If you can stop it why not. c'mon she is only 7.

~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~

Haha! Im the crazy BM that gave her 7 year old a phone! But in reality it was because his father didnt have a landline. I didnt call him, he seldom called me...it mostly stayed in his bag because....
1) HE WAS 7
2) A 7 year old has no need for a phone
3) He knew he couldnt tattle on daddy
4) He found out after one time that he couldnt tattle on sudo SM either
and
5) I could care less what happend in dads house on a daily basis (I trust him to do whats right in regard to our son)

He had it for emergencies, I think it was used a couple times on his way home just to make sure I would be there. But a 7 year old doesnt need a phone.

I completely agree. There's no reason for a 7 year old to have a cell phone. I don't think they should have them until they're old enough to stay home by themselves. Then, I think they can have one, but one with seriously limited features. No texting, can only call preprogrammed numbers, etc.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Actually, I've played both sides of this argument and I think it depends on the child and the bio-parents. BS10 and BS8 both have cell phones that I provided for them. I am the CP. Although my ex and I aren't the best of friends, we're both reasonable human beings. The boys have their phones available so they can call their Dad anytime they like and in turn, Dad can call them without having to go through me to get to them. It also helps when they visit Dad. They take their phones with them and call me occasionally. I NEVER use those phones as a means to butt in to their time with Dad.

On the other hand, my DH's ex bought a cell phone for SD4 and told her to keep it with her at all times when she is with Dad. After 2 visits of the phone constantly ringing, DH turned it off. BM threw a fit. She called her attorney and told him that we were denying her phone access by turning the phone off. BM is crazy and is always trying to come up with ways of screwing DH out of his visitation. Now that she has to call DH's phone, we can control the number of calls that come in (it started at 5 per weekend, now is down to 1 per weekend) and we have a record of all phone visitation so that BM can't falsely accuse DH of denying access.

How sad it is that we have to live our lives in constant preparation for a courtroom.