Adult children ruining retirement
Forums:
and this is not just steps. This is any child old enough to be on his own. adult children these days leech money from their parents:
http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/retirement/how-to-stop-your-grown-kids-fr...
Nope, not happening. BM
Nope, not happening.
BM created a co-dependent SD, BM can continue to support her forever for all I care but DH and I are not.
My Twit always says she is oh
My Twit always says she is oh so broke that she can barely afford to eat yet she spends money like our government does. She has tried for $$, or to get us to "loan" her $$ but that isn't happening.
Heck, she has actually come out and told me that she KNOWS what she wants after I die! Done things like bawl her eyes out in front of DH and I looking for assurances that she is getting $$$ etc.
Not from me she isn't, and DH knows that. And fortunately DH also is not one to give her $$.
BTW, at the same time she is crying poor mouth, she is also complaining on how she has to give money to her Mother, brother and sister because they are always tapping her for $$$. DH and I know as a fact that is not true.....her brother and sister have good jobs, the mother is retired and none of them want much to do with Twit. This is just more fabrication in a delusional mind by Twit to make it seem like she is the BIG HONCHO. BTW, her hubby makes over $100,000!
And yes, it got very confusing in Twit talk land. One minute she was being lady bountiful to all her siblings and Mother (this from someone who won't even pop for a hot dog for her Father on Father's Day and serves frozen pizza and a can of pop for Christmas) and the next she is hitting DH to go in with her on an RV.
It's sad when DH is just a
It's sad when DH is just a wallet to the skids and little more. My DH works overtime every week, takes on extra jobs, briefly made stoned and unemployed ss30 pay his portion of the phone bill but then let him slide for 7+ years. DH still pays alimony and is on the hook for several more years. ss30 comes over and secretly talks to dad which usually means he needs cash. As long as DH doles out the guilt money he will be loved.
We'll be moving several hours away in about 2 years, selling the family home *gasp!* I'm hoping that this will loosen the hold on DH's wallet and lessen the guilt.
This is one of my biggest
This is one of my biggest sources of anxiety in this awful step-parenting mess--my financial future. My husband would completely deny this, but he's a total sucker for his 20-something sons and he is training them to expect financial support from him. I can totally picture him secretly helping them out until the die he dies, compromising our retirement. I'm totally stressed out about this crap, honestly don't think I want to have to grow old worrying what he'll do next to impress them. What a way to live.
I have the same fears,
I have the same fears, sad-stepmom, about my financial future because of my husband's adult children. They barely pay attention to him on his birthday, Christmas, or Father's Day, but know where to find him if they want money. Because of the large amount of alimony he is still paying, his paycheck doesn't cover his share of the bills, so our savings account is dipped into each month. That still doesn't stop him from giving his kids money if they ask for it. He doesn't have a good relationship with his oldest son, who is a single parent. That didn't stop him from asking his dad for money to take his son to Disney World. My husband sent him several hundred dollars for the trip and got a texted thanks in return. Of course, we got into a fight about it because I thought it was ridiculous for SS to ask for the money and more ridiculous for my husband to send it to him!
This is exactly why I will
This is exactly why I will not marry my SO. Even though his kids are adults and working, plus they have BM's family wealth to draw from, I do not EVER for one MINUTE think SO would turn them away if they were in "need" He made a statement long ago to the effect that he would be willing to go bankrupt if he had to in order to provide the best medical care to his uninsured (at the time) son. That spoke volumes to me.
Life can turn on a dime and even bio kids who are fine can quickly become disasters that parents have to bail out.
I have a friend with a 30-something adult son who had been doing well his entire adult life. Good career, solid financial status, you name it. But then the son and his wife decided to divorce and he quickly slid downhill. Within a year, he had hooked up with an exotic dancer with children from multiple fathers. Then she got him into drugs. He burned through his savings and lost his job. Then he went out and got a DUI and spent some time in lock-up. Once released, he decided to try and end it all (but was unsuccessful) and wound up in a hospital for some time, without insurance and with significant medical and legal bills.
What do you think happened? Of course his Mom and Dad took him in. And they are trying to fix the broken mess he is and it is costing them a pretty penny. It means that the bright retirement they had planned for is gone. They will both be working for much longer than they thought, and their retirement savings has been drained significantly.
It may take years to get their son back on track, and who knows if he may backslide again.
This is one example why I personally will never marry anyone with children.
Hear, hear, Catmom! I
Hear, hear, Catmom!
I cannot for the life of me see why it would be of any benefit to marry - especially if you are older and are not planning to have children together. I absolutely will not let my retirement and precious old age be affected by skids with whatever problems may crop up in their lives.
They sure as hell won't be there taking care of any of us stepparents, that's for sure!
As we see so often on these boards, Disney-Dads (and Moms)do not change over time. I am appalled at some of the stories I read about skids abusing their elderly parents both financially and emotionally - including blackmail with grandkids, etc. Yet the bio-parents let their kids get away with it, and the stepparents watch their joined financial and emotional banks get drained without any legal recourse except divorce.
Count me out.
I finally taught my DH to say
I finally taught my DH to say no to his overgrown brats. We need our money to take care of OUR family. BM made such a big fart about getting custody of them after the divorce, she can support them. My DH has already paid those people what he owes.
No more sending money for rent and absolutely no living with us. And it pisses me off when they (adult skids) try to make it about the grand brats. You made em, you support em. I never asked my parents for money to feed or clothe my kids.